Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Fifteen

Dear Diary 

October 19th, 2012

I didn't want today to come, I made yesterday go as slow as possible but today still came. Most people would be excited saying yes it's Friday but not me. Today is my test results. No not from a math test, not science or English. Today is the day I find out if my cancer has gotten better or worse. I laid in bed not wanting to get up, thinking maybe I could sleep through it, just maybe.

There was a knock on the door and then Mom came into the room. I knew what she was going to say, she was going to tell me that she would pick Matt and I up at 2 to go to the doctors office. "Honey how are you feeling?" She asked and I looked up at Matt standing in the doorway.

"I'm alright." I said and threw the covers off me. I had to go to school, part of me even wanted to. It was a way to be normal and see my friends and see Nathan. I knew he wasn't going to be able to come today, Ethan had an appointment also and I wanted Nathan to be there for his brother like mine was here for me. Matt put his arm around my shoulder and then picked out my clothes like he used to do when I was tired.

"Here. I'll be right outside the door if you need anything." I got dressed slowly and then put on my wig, I didn't want people to see me without it, even though Nathan said I was beautiful I didn't feel it. I used cover up to put color back into my face and put on mascara. "Tell me the truth, how are you feeling?"

"Like shit but that's not any different from yesterday or the day before that so I feel fine." I said and Matt laughed probably at my horrible use of sarcasm and swear words. "Have you thought about what university you want to apply to? That's coming up soon."

"We can fill out my applications later but right now, eat this." He handed me a small yogurt container and a glass of milk knowing I wouldn't be able to get a bagel down. "Are you sure about going to school? Because you don't have to go, you can stay home."

"Nope I am going today no matter what you say. It will be my only chance to see Nathan and I need to get the work I missed from my teachers." I told him while licking my spoon. "Where's Tristan? Did he go home last night?"

"Ya he did, his brother's home for a bit so he told me to tell you that it would be better." I threw my bag in the car and Matt took down the top on the convertible. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in sight. "How is Ethan doing?"

"To tell the truth I don't know. The last time I was at school Ethan wasn't there and Nathan doesn't really talk about it so I'm guessing not so great but don't quote me on it." I turned up the radio and put my feet up on the dash. "I miss our brother sister talks, we should do this more often. So any girlfriends I don't know about?"

"Nope, because there is no way I could make myself settle down. I'm more of a one night stand kind of guy." I slapped his shoulder. "Ow! Your boney hands hurt!"

"Keep talking if you want me to hit you were the sun don't shine." I said as we parked in the school parking lot. I took my bag from the back seat as I saw Nathan and Ethan pull up in the spot beside us.

"Don't even go there sister." I laughed when Matt did his gay imitation and he put his hand out like in the music video for all the single ladies and Nathan punched his arm. "What is up with people hitting me today."

I looked at Ethan and to tell the truth he looked a lot better then I did. I felt a hand slip into mine and then Nathan kissed my cheek. "Hey beautiful." See there he goes with the beautiful comments again.

"Hey." I said smiling up at him. I saw the crew coming towards us along with Ciara. Tristan looked so hot in his leather jacket and light blue v-neck shirt but something about his expression told me things didn't go as well as he thought they would last night. I couldn't help but wonder.

"Look who's finally back!" Dylan spoke first and gave me a hug. "Hey Darcy." The bell rang and Nathan and I went in separate directions. I could see Tristan standing across hall trying to get his locker open but he was having trouble. His head was somewhere else. I grabbed my binder quickly off the ground and ran to him.