Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Twenty-Three

Dear Diary

November 21st, 2012

I woke up when the alarm went off and rolled over back onto Nathan's chest. I noticed something weird, I didn't feel sick and I had radiation last night. Although I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Nathan wake up." I said hitting my hand on his chest. "Nate..." I murmured and he rolled over onto his side groaning.

"Five more minutes Mom." He stole the pillow out from under me and put it over his head. I grabbed it from him and jumped up just in time to pull off all the sheets from my bed. "Seriously! Now I'm cold..." I crossed my arms and frowned. "Alright, alright, I'm getting up." Nathan got up and pulled his shirt over his head from his bag. "Are you coming to school today?"

"I feel fine so, ya I am. Is Ethan going today?" I asked and Nathan shrugged and trudged into the bathroom. I looked across the hall at Matt's room, still untouched. It's been one week since the accident and he still hasn't woke up. I walked in and looked around, his jersey was folded on his bed and for once I could actually see his floor.

On his bureau I could see his lucky leather bracelet, so I picked it up and put it on. "Hey Darc, Ethan is going to school." I went back to my room and smiled up at Nathan.

"Yes! That means I won't be the only walking dead person." Nathan laughed and I knocked on Tristan's door. "Yo Tristan, get your ass up." I yelled trying my best to wake him up like Matt always did.

"I'm right here." I jumped, and turned around to see Tristan with a tooth brush in his mouth. "But nice man voice, real sexy." I shook my head and bit my lip. "I'm going to go spit now." I went back into my room and took my books from my desk and threw them into my bag. "Guys we have to get going." Tristan said probably from the kitchen and I put my wig on.

I walked down the stairs and joined Nathan and Tristan. "You look beautiful Darcy." Nathan kissed me and handed me an apple. "We have music first thing today." I smiled, because I liked the fact that I didn't have to leave Nathan for more then an hour. I needed him with me, he made me happy.

Music ended at 10:30 and then Nathan and I went our separate ways. I found Ethan over by his locker and together we went to calculus. Basically it all sounded like gibberish, everything the teacher said had something to do with x or y. I didn't want to pay attention so I stared out the window and just started day dreaming. By the time lunch came I was getting excited because I knew when I went home Matt would be there for the first time in a while. I shoved my binder in my locker and walked fast to Nathan's hallway.

I waited by Nathan's locker and as I waited Dylan came up to me and put an arm around my shoulder. "Hey Nathan told me that he has to finish a test. How are you feeling?" Dylan had never asked me that question but I'm guessing he was having to report my answer back to Nathan.

"I'm fine." I said with more haste then I had planned to. "Sorry I just really hate that question with a passion." Dylan nodded and was about to say something when Nathan came out from the classroom. I smiled a little at Dylan and then he left and went down the stairs.

"You ok?" Nathan asked and I smiled at him brightly. Just hearing his voice made my stomach do jumps. I put my arms up around his neck and pulled him down so his lips met mine. Right after our lips touched he pulled back with a worried look on his face and I looked up at him confused. His hand touched my forehead and then both my cheeks. "You have a fever." I put my hand on my forehead and realized I was really warm. "I'm going to take you home."

"Nate..." He didn't listen, he just took me by the hand and pulled me along. My head was pounding and Nathan was walking way too fast. "Nate... Please, slow down." I murmured holding him in place and he kissed my cheek. "Thanks." We walked out the front doors and then Sean stepped in front of Nathan. He had black hair that was a buzz cut and his jeans looked like they went down to his knees. Sean was known as the schools druggy and people know not to get in his way.

"Sean she's sick let us pass." Sean didn't budge and Nathan tried to go around him but Sean seemed to know his every move. "Sean move or else." Nathan said and pushed me back a little, letting go of my hand and his hands formed into fists.

"What are you going to do about it?" Sean asked me saying it like he was asking me 'how are you?'. Nathan snapped and before I could even protest or stop him he punched Sean. I couldn't do anything, I was too scared and as Sean tackled Nathan to the ground a crowd started to form.

"Nathan!" I tried to scream out but it came out as a whisper. "No." Then Reese came running up with Dylan and Tristan and the three of them pushed Sean off of Nathan. My head started too feel heavy and I felt the fever starting to kick in. I looked over at Nathan and saw him doubled over in pain. "Nate... I don't feel so-" Dylan caught me before I hit the pavement.

I woke up sitting in the living room chair, and I could hear Reese and Dylan playing play station beside me. Then I focused more on Tristan and Nathan's conversation they were having in the kitchen. I didn't say anything because I didn't want them to know I was awake and listening in on their conversation. "The chemotherapy and radiation keep the cancer from spreading and the bone marrow transplant will most likely cure her cancer. It would send her back in remission. Although that is the last resort and it doesn't usually come to that, according to doctors and statistics." Tristan told Nathan everything he knew.

"Wow how do you know all this?" Nathan asked Tristan obviously impressed by his knowledge. Tristan spend ages just looking at books and the Internet for information. When I first got sick I guess that's how he dealt with it.

"It's all up here my friend." I didn't have to look at him to know he was pointing at his head. "If the pain get's any worse give her an Ibuprofen. If that doesn't work there is an OxyContin prescription under the sink but that's only for if the pain is keeping her awake."

"Sometimes I think you'd be so much better for her, you know how to help her." Nathan said and I couldn't help but listen closer to what Tristan's response would be. I thought I knew what he was going to say, 'Yes I would be' but I was wrong.

"That's where your wrong. She loves you and she's willing to fight and survive this for you. I heard her promise to you this morning that she would stay alive. The only other person she has promised that to is Matt. She doesn't love me like she loves you and if she ever has to chose she'll always chose you." My eyes snapped open, and I made myself get up and walk into the kitchen. I ignored my pounding head and the fact that each step I took my legs ached.

Reese and Dylan didn't notice I had gotten up there were too focused on decapitating each other online. I stood in the doorway and crossed my arms leaning on the wall. "Hey." I said quietly and Nathan turned around showing me the black eye that had started to form. I lifted my hand and touched it making him wince. I put an arm around his neck and my other around his waist hugging him tight. "Nate you're all I need." I whispered and he chuckled, figuring out that I was listening in.

"Come to bed ok?" He said and I followed him upstairs. I sat down on the bed and Nathan put his hand on my forehead. "You still have a fever." Nathan lifted up the covers and moved my legs under them tucking me in. "I'll be right back ok?" I nodded and watched Nathan go into the bathroom closing the door behind him.

I rolled over onto my side and closed my eyes. Soon after I felt the bed dip down and Nathan winced as he laid down on his side and suddenly I was worried. "Nate are you ok." He murmured yes and I could feel his breath against my neck. "I'm so sorry..." I whispered. "It was my fault he did that to you."

"No it wasn't baby girl, I threw the first punch. I'm just a little bit sore." I turned around into him and put my head down on his chest. "I'll wake you up when Matt gets home." I couldn't believe I almost forgot about him finally coming home.

"Nathan I love you so much." And right before I fell asleep I heard him whisper in my ear that he loved me too.

"Darcy..." I felt Nathan shaking me and I rolled over opening my eyes. "Your Mom just pulled in the driveway." I murmured ok and pulled the covers back over me, wondering why he woke me up to tell me that. "Baby girl that means Matt's home." The second he said Matt I sat up. I felt like I was almost on a spring and I turned to face Nathan with a smile on my face that was almost creepy.

I heard the door open and I ran right down the stairs. I jumped at Matt and squealed. "I'm so glad your home!" I let go and Mom came back down the stairs in her work clothes.

"Well I am off to work. Darcy I want you in bed by 9 at the latest and Matt you make sure of it. You better rest also, the only reason you're home is because I promised you would. Everybody got that?" Everyone nodded and murmured 'yes Ms. Silver.' I quickly hugged Matt again.

"Darc, my arm." He said, telling me in other words that I was hugging him too tight so I let him go. "I missed you too. Oh and by the way congratulations, you know Nathan asked me if he could ask you to marry him. Then I told Tristan and he crashed the car." My jaw dropped, and Tristan spit out the mouthful of water he had in his mouth. After that shock wore off I turned to Nathan.

"You asked my brother for permission? Aw that's so sweet." Everyone stared at me and I realized that Dylan and Reese were just finding out that I was engaged. Then the front door opened and Ciara joined us. She gave Matt a small hug and then went and sat with Reese on the couch.

"The family's back together!" Dylan shouted and Matt went and sat on the chair. That's when Nathan pulled me off to the side by the stairs.

"Darcy I got to go home." He said and traced my jaw line with his finger. "Are you going to be alright if I go?" Nathan was worried about me again like he always was but I nodded saying I was fine. "I love you. Get some sleep, I want to see you all better by tomorrow."

"Go..." I said and pushed him towards the door. "I will get sleep, I promise and don't worry about me." I opened up the front door and gave him a quick kiss. "I love you." I said and closed the door behind me. I sat down on the chair arm beside Matt yawning. "Well I'm off to bed." I said and as I walked up the stairs I heard a chorus of goodnights.

For the first time in a long time I sat down at the piano and ran my fingers against the keys. With a melody in my head I began playing it and then I started to sing, even though my voice was shaky.

"One of these days the sky's gonna break
And everything will escape and I'll know
One of these days the mountains
Are gonna fall into the sea and they'll know

That you and I were made for this
I was made to taste your kiss
We were made to never fall away
Never fall away"

It seemed like those words described exactly how I felt about Nathan, we were meant to be together. It was fate.

"One of these days letters are gonna fall
From the sky telling us all to go free
But until that day I'll find a way
To let everybody know that you're coming back
You're coming back for me

'Cause even though you left me here
I have nothing left to fear
These are only walls that hold me here
Hold me here, hold me here, hold me here
Only walls that hold me here

One day soon I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon
And we will hear those planes overhead
And we won't have to be scared
'Cause we won't have to be scared
We won't have to be, yeah, scared, no"

It made me have hope again, with Matt home, and everyone back together. It made me think that maybe, just maybe I wasn't going to die. Maybe I'd survive this.

"You're coming back for me
You're coming back"

As I fell asleep that night, I hummed the tune over and over again. I felt like everything was going to turn out ok.