Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Twenty-Two

Dear Diary

November 17th, 2012

I woke up to snow falling and Nathan was using my laptop on his lap. When he saw that I was awake he quickly closed it obviously not wanting me to see whatever it was he was looking at. "So uh... I have to go for a little while, but after that in about 2 hours we are going to go on that date that we missed." He kissed my forehead and ran out of my bedroom door before I even had a chance to ask. "Love you." He peeked in the door and then he was gone.

"Love you too?" I questioned and opened my laptop trying to figure out what was going on but there were no pages open. I just laid in bed and after a while Tristan came in. He had his hands in his pockets and I couldn't help but think about him in his boxers last night. I felt a little drowsy, probably from the sleeping pills I took but I knew it would ware off.

"Hey." He sounded like he didn't know what to say to me and all I wanted was for everything to go back to normal. "Look I know you think I have been avoiding you all week and I could try to deny it but I'm not going to. I was avoiding you Darcy." He sat down on the bed and wiped his hands on his pants. I knew what that meant, he was nervous. "I'm in love you, you know that, but if friends is all we can ever be then Darcy I want to be friends. Even though its not what I want, I know you're happy with Nathan, and I don't think I could go on without you in my life. So can we go back to being friends?" He asked and put out his hand for me to shake.

"Deal." I said firmly and hugged him. Then I kissed his cheek. "And I love you too, just as a brother alright?" I said and Tristan nodded. "So do you want to make breakfast or do I have to?" He laughed and held out his hand to help me up.

"You know I can't cook. How does eggs sound?" I jumped up on his back and had him piggyback me down the stairs. "You're heavier then I remember De." I smacked his head because I knew he was lying. I weighed less then I used to. "I know, I know, you don't joke about a woman's weight." I flicked the back of his head because he wasn't even close. "Ouch De, you're nimble fingers hurt."

Tristan set me down and while he cooked I wandered outside into the snow. I looked up at the sky and watched it fall. It was mesmerizing and I spun around in circles. Then I put my hand out and watched each one that landed on me melt, each one different and unique. I hated that this winter might be the last one I'll ever see. Right now all I want to do is last the year and for Matt to finally wake up, because that would be the happiest day of my life.

After eating I went upstairs and pulled some jeans from my closet. I wasn't quite sure where Nathan was taking me for our date but he didn't say to wear anything fancy. Once I was changed I fixed my wig and brushed through it lightly. The little bit of makeup I was wearing didn't make my face look any brighter, I still looked sick. I looked at the time and saw that I had thirty minutes to spare.

I went downstairs and sat on the couch. I turned on the TV, laying back and I guess after about 10 minutes I fell asleep. "Darcy... Baby girl..." I opened my eyes and saw Nathan kneeling down beside me. "We don't have to go out Darcy if you're tired." I frowned at him and sat up.

"I want to go." I ran my hand through his hair down to the back of his neck. He smiled but I could tell it was a forced one, he was worried about me still. I took his hand with both of mine, and when I looked into his eyes I realized something else. He might of been worried about me but he was worried about something else also and that scared me.

Part of me thought it was Ethan he was worried about, but that wouldn't be something he would keep from me and the other half of me felt that he was still mad about the whole Tristan situation. Nathan handed me a warm jacket and outside put the bike helmet on my head and buckled it underneath my chin. After he got on I got on behind him and put my arms around his waist holding on tight.