Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Seventeen

Dear Diary

October 24, 2012

It had been three days since I told Nathan, three days since I talked to him and three days of him completely ignoring me. Each day I went to treatment without him and each day I got sicker and sicker. I could see it written on Matt's face that he thought it would kill me this time. I dialled Nathan's number but once again it went straight to voicemail. Part of me was angry and the other wanted to curl up in a ball engulfed by my warm sheets and cry. I didn't know if I could do this without him, he was my motivation. But as long as I didn't lose him I wouldn't stop fighting.

I sat down in the car as Tristan opened the drivers side door. It was only me and him today, Mom was at work and I told Matt not to cancel his plans with his girlfriend. I haven't met her yet but just the way he talks about her tells me he really likes her. Her name's Troian. "You alright?" Tristan asked snapping me out of my trance.

"Ya I'm fine just thinking." He didn't ask anything else so I took out my phone and stared down at the picture of Nathan and I that I made my background. Words couldn't describe how much I missed him and just thinking about it made me sad. I opened my text messages before sighing and sending him yet another message.

Please talk to me. I have treatment and I'd really like it if you were there when I came out.

-D

I sent it but by the time we got to the hospital I didn't get a reply. "Do you mind if I don't stay Darcy?" Tristan asked, I knew he hated the hospital but he never told me the reason and I didn't push for it.

"No not at all. It's going to be around three hours anyway." I said and Tristan dropped me off at the door. Today I signed myself in and then took my seat in the waiting room. There were two little kids playing in front of me and one little girl being bounced on her mothers lap. I've always wanted kids, but who knows if I'll make it that far.

I looked at the mother and then down at the little girl. She looked so happy and laughing, not even noticing the mothers worried look on her face. I used to be like that, happy all the time, with not a care in the world. From when I was 7 to now... Everything's different, everything changed that day at the doctors office.

Once I started thinking about it I couldn't stop and I looked back to see the little girl go and play with the two other little boys. Then I looked down and saw the mothers pregnant stomach. I took a deep breathe and walked over to her. "Hi I'm Darcy." She patted the seat next to her and then held out her hand.

"I'm Savannah." She had short red hair and hazel eyes. There was a long pause of silence before she asked the question I knew she was wanting to. "Do you have..."

"Cancer? Ya." I forced myself to smile. "It's leukemia, and this is it's third reappearance." Savannah looked down at her daughter. "What's her name?" I asked and she smiled brightly.

"Lily, it's the flower my husband gave me the day we met. We were both in the PublicGardens and by accident he bumped into me. Then he picked a lily and gave it to me, we've been together ever since." Talking about her husband seemed to make her happy and it was hard not to know that she loved him very much.

Once again my thoughts went right back to Nathan. I wondered what he was doing and if he read my message yet. Maybe he turned off his phone and was trying to block everything out. "Darcy Silver." I head a nurse say and I stood up.

"It was nice meeting you." I just smiled feeling my heart start to race again from nerves. Then I felt my phone vibrate in my hands and I looked at it once the nurses started hooking the wires back up to me. When I saw Nathan's name my heart skipped a beat and then I opened it hoping it wasn't going to say something like 'WE'RE OVER.'