The Purest Snow

Chapter 34: Silent Grief

"Rosella, have you ever heard of a condition called bulimia nervosa?" Dr. Vickers asked.

"No," Rosella lied defensively.

"Rosella, I'm concerned about some of the symptoms I've noticed while treating you..."

Rosella looked uncomfortable. "What do you mean?"

"Well first... the marks and scars on your knuckles..." Dr. Vickers said, taking her hand. "It indicates self induced vomiting."

"I... have a weak stomach."

"I also noticed you almost always have your arm across your stomach... indicating your self consciousness about it. You're underweight, yet you have a distended abdomen, which indicates your body is trying to retain nutrients before they're thrown up again. And if you feel your skin, you have soft, fine hair called lanugo, and your hair and nails are dry and brittle." Dr. Vickers continues. Rosella started to breathe heavily. "Rosella... I want you to know everything said in here is confidential and stays between us... unless I have reason to believe you plan to hurt yourself or others."

Rosella put her hand over her mouth. "I'm fine... really," she almost whispered.

"Rosella... it's okay not to be okay. You're a strong girl after everything you've been through."

"I haven't been through anything Dr. Vickers. I live in the capital, not the districts, and that already makes me ten times more lucky than most of the kids in Panem."

Dr. Vickers sighed. "We are a part of a toxic society, Rosella. I try not to listen to the rumors... But I do know about what happened back two years ago. With that boy."

Rosella laughed bitterly. "Everyone knows about that. I'm the great whore of Corso. I'm over it. I don't care about him or any of that anymore."

"You were fourteen. He was almost an adult. That doesn't make you a whore, it makes you a victim. And a survivor. I believe that you're over the relationship, but I don't think you've fully recovered from the trauma."

"At least I just survived some rich jackass and not the Hunger Games."

"Rosella... your place in the capitol does not diminish your struggles. The things that you went through are very real struggles and they are valid. And they are not your fault. You're a victim too... even though people don't often treat you like one."

Rosella stared at her blankly.

"Your cousin told me you've been having struggles... how you haven't cried in over a year. How you feel responsible for the games."

"That's all true."

Dr. Vickers smiled gently. "I was hoping I could refer you to a psychiatrist... A friend of mine. She's very good, and there is absolutely no shame in getting help."

Rosella thought for a moment. "My brother can't know anything."

*****

Despite being reassured repeatedly that his sister was absolutely fine following the incident at the parade, Coriolanus was still in a rage over the tribute. At first he wanted her killed immediately, but decided it would be better to get his revenge in the arena. He was a game maker now, after all.

He thought about this, and how he might go about it. He and Dr. Gaul planned many different tactics for making the show more exciting for the audience. He wasn't sure how it would all play out in reality. All he knew is that he was absolutely certain that District 8 would not have a victory. He presumed the audiences would prefer a more exciting victor. One of the stronger males from District 1 or 2. Rosella would have his head for saying it, but the reality was a girl already had significantly lower odds. A strong District 1 boy would represent the glory and power a victor would have, making people want to watch the games and others volunteer.