Guilty | Woosan 18+

19. 🔞

S a n.
The moment the younger left my room, I felt empty, worthless and I lacked energy again. Never in my life I thought I would get to this point. Get to the point, where I couldn't even think straight anymore. Where I couldn't even focus on my beloved work.

The thought of him not choosing me in the end was unbearable. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to see how he abandoned me, running into his boyfriend's arms again, being all cheesy and lovely.

I tried to show him my soft side, if there was any. Gosh. The last time I actually made a move or tried to be nice was probably to my high school crush. I didn't even know how to interact with others besides from work partners.

Something about him fascinated me so much that I was sure that he was the one. At least my lack of attention, my boiling blood and the heat between us, made it clear for me. Besides, I actually and truly got butterflies again. I got excited, over him, over his body, over simply anything he did. Fuck.

—

It was already midnight. The moonlight softly enlightened my room. The other's already got back from their skiing trip long time ago. I heard them chatting about today and how amazing the sun stood out today as well as how good Lia was already at skiing.

I sat on my bed. The black sheets were spread out nicely, a lot of pillows made the bed seem and feel cozy. I put on a tiny bit of lavender oil that would make one sleep tighter or feel more relaxed. I want everything to be nice and perfect for you, Wooyoung.

I myself made my hair, brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on my fresh aftershave that smelled so damn good that I believed it made everyone crazy since my high school days.

I looked at my reflection. My eyes looked so siren like that almost anyone always flinched seeing me mad. People weren't always afraid of me, they mainly were when I slowly got older. I had a love-hate-relationship with my appearance but now I really had to show Wooyoung the little soft side I had

1am. He won't come right? I sighted loudly and leaned back for a moment. The moon looked so bright and beautiful. I wondered if I could look at the moon together with Wooyoung, once again.

Suddenly a noise filled the room. It was such a soft noise that I almost didn't hear it but the figure that now stood in my room made me realize what happened. Wooyoung actually came. He actually came into my room at 1am.

He stood there, only dressed in a sinful black oversized shirt, freshly waxed legs totally exposed and a glossy lip. He seemed unsure and sure at the same time. "San" he whispered, his lips slightly swollen, his eyes glued on me and his skin flawless

He wore make up. Did he wore it just for me? He sure did.

"Felix is asleep" he whispered and got closer to me. My pulse got higher the closer he got. Gosh, when was the last time I felt like this. I needed an answer soon. I needed to know what he wanted. His body told me that he wanted me but his morals seemed to get him in his way

For a fact, I was the better choice. Maybe I wasn't too emotional but I still would make sure he had anything he needed. Not only would I buy him anything he wanted, no. I'd also make sure his body got anything it needed.

I was sure that I could make this precious boy happy in so many ways. Look at you, Wooyoung. You need me. It's so obvious. "I wouldn't even care if he wasn't" I whispered and got up in order to walk over to him, our bodies as close as before. The more I got of him the more addicted I got.

"Look San, I am not going into bed with you" he whispered and looked up to me with the innocence of an angel in his beautiful eyes. A wave of frustration hit my body when I heard his words. What was he afraid of? We already kissed, we already looked at each other, we already shred a damn secret

He wanted me to beg. He really wanted me to beg him to spend a night with me. To lay down next to me as if it was the most normal thing in the world. To make me believe at least one night that I owned him

"What's the reason?" I answered. My hand slowly traveling up to meet his soft skin, brushing a strain of his soft hair behind his slightly pink ear. God, he smelled so amazing.

The smaller bit his lip, an innocence in his eyes that I couldn't really grasp. He acted so innocent but he also was innocent. I hated all those girls and boys who acted like they've never been touched by a man before. Wooyoung actually wasn't touched. And I hated myself for loving to think about that

He stood in front of me with his bare nice legs, his soft makeup and his clear eyes expecting me to stay focused and believe in his words. "I think I can't sleep next to you" he mumbled chewing on the beautiful lip of his

I tilted my head slightly confused, his cheek still in my hand. My fingers traveled underneath his chin. He can't sleep next to me? What does that mean? "Why's that baby?" I asked him, calling him a pet name simply because I fucking wanted to

Live with these names. You'll love them soon.

"I think I-" he looked up again.

"Would want you even more"