The Girl by the Sea (Countryhumans AU)

Nothing To Worry About

Written: January 29, 2024

Shortly after North's departure, I visit my cousins: Taiwan and China. They don't exactly get along with each other, but I love hanging around them.

Navigating the dynamic between China and Taiwan is like treading on a delicate balance beam, but I've mastered the art of bringing some harmony to their discordant notes.

"So, what's the plan, comrades?" I ask, emphasizing curiosity. China raises an eyebrow, and Taiwan shoots me a disapproving look.

"Can we skip the Communist degeneracy, Oki?" Taiwan sighs, clearly unamused.

"Alright, alright. Let's keep it light," I say, feigning innocence. "Any exciting stories or updates?"

China smirks, settling into her laid-back persona. "Just the usual chaos. Nothing new in the world."

Taiwan rolls his eyes, "And I've been trying to maintain order, unlike someone here." He shoots a pointed look at China.

I chuckle, embracing the quirks of our family dynamics. "Well, let's make today interesting, shall we?"

"I'm thinking about committing arson on a government building." China suggests, fixing the cuffs of her dress. Taiwan pushes her with a resentful force.

"She's not in her right mind, China!" Taiwan raised his voice. Confusion wrinkles around my eyes, I speak up.

"What do you mean?" With those four words, I defuse the tension between my cousins. Taiwan sighs, pushing up his glasses.

"Japan called us and expressed concern about your behavior." He scoots over, offering a seat next to him. "She said you've been hiding things, disassociating, and keeping unnaturally quiet."

In an almost cynical tone, China adds, "You do know you exhibit signs of a suicidal mindset, right?" A pang of shock bursts throughout my body.

"No, no. You have the wrong idea!" I exclaim. "I don't feel that way!" The room falls silent, the weight of their concerns settling heavily. Taiwan looks at me with a mix of worry and frustration, while China maintains a calm exterior that barely conceals the underlying concern.

"We care about you, Oki," Taiwan says gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Japan was just worried, and we need to make sure you're okay."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," I assure them, attempting to project confidence. "I've been dealing with some...things, but it's nothing I can't handle."

China eyes me skeptically, "You're hiding something, aren't you?"

The room hangs in a fragile balance, my emotions raw and exposed. Opening up is daunting, but the genuine concern in their eyes nudges me toward the vulnerability I've been avoiding. Taiwan stares, his eyes soft with concern.

"I'm okay." I spit defensively. "There's nothing wrong." Despite my agitated resolve, I feel my heart rip to shreds with anxiety. My brain seems to rupture with fear of judgment. The truth is that I don't know who I am and don't want to be someone my family will look distastefully at. My hands can't reach to embrace my heritage, weighed down by the chains of pressure to fit in.

"What's with this long silence, eh?" China probes. "Are we in a comic book or what?!" I manage a half-smile.

"Nothing to talk about, that's all." I shrug.

Taiwan sighs, a mix of frustration and compassion evident in his expression. "Oki, it's okay to not be okay. You don't have to carry everything on your own."

China leans back, crossing her arms, "You're being too secretive. It's not healthy. We're family; you can trust us."

I glance between them, grappling with the internal struggle to either maintain the facade or let the barriers crumble. The room feels suffocating, and I realize that keeping up the act is more exhausting than facing the truth. It's something I've done for as long as I can remember, and I'm not quitting the act now.