The Girl by the Sea (Countryhumans AU)

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe...

Written: March 22, 2024

I wake up to a bright fluorescent light above my head. My eyes are fatigued and blurry.

Am I finally dead? Is this what it feels like?

The bright light above my head is blinding to me, and I find myself squinting and trying to focus my vision. My eyes are fatigued and blurry, as if I've only just woken up from a long sleep. The walls are white, and in the corner of my eyes I see that there are monitors that are attached to me. I try to lift my head, but my body feels too weak and disoriented to even keep it up on its own.

"Shhh... shh... it's okay..." I hear someone whisper near me-it sounds like South's voice. I try to focus my blurred vision on him, seeing his face hovering over me. It feels like I'm in a daze, and I try to clear my head and calm my mind, but the feeling is surreal and disorienting.

"You're fine, I'm here..." The sound of South's soothing voice calms me a bit, and I feel myself relax a bit. My mind is still foggy and hazy, but at least I know I'm in good hands. As my brain tries to figure out the situation, I try to take in more of my surroundings. I can see the white walls around me, the monitors hooked up to me... this is a hospital, right?

If I'm not dreaming, then my attempt failed. South is here with me in what looks exactly like a hospital. Slowly, my senses begin to return. I feel my hands in South's warm ones. I smell the sharpness of antiseptic waft by, and I hear the whirring of the machines.

"You're okay, just relax..." I hear South whisper again, his voice filling me with comfort and reassurance. I try to relax, letting my body and mind slow down and letting South's presence be calming to my mind. I inhale deeply and exhale slowly, trying to take in the moment as I look around the hospital room.

South sighs deeply. "I influenced this, didn't I?"

"H-Huh?" I say slowly, my ears prickling up at his words. I felt like he said something, but was I hallucinating? "I-Influenced what?"

South chokes up and gently wraps his arms around me. "Th-the attempt." He croaks. My eyes widen as it registers what he was actually saying-he thinks that he influenced my 'attempt'? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The guilt and grief in his voice... it was too much to handle. Without thinking, I instinctively tighten my grip on his body and bury my head into his shoulder.

"N-No!" I said frantically, trying to get out words that were jumbled and incoherent. "It-it's n-not your fault..." I try to get my mind to process what just happened, but it feels like it was all just a fever dream that I've finally woken up from. "Don't th-think that."

My heart shatters and drops to my stomach. The heavy feeling of guilt and remorse overtake me. The darkness casts over my face, but then I get a little suspicious...

South had always been a good actor. He can mask his emotions and bend his demeanor to fit the mold everyone's cut out for him. I can't help but wonder if he's just pretending to be so upset.

That didn't make sense. Why would he see it as his fault? The thought of this being some sort of act flashed by my mind again, but this time I couldn't help but shake off the feeling. South's reactions and words just felt so genuine this time around. I'd never seen him like this before, I knew that he could act out any role with ease, but this... this seemed so real.

South plays with my hair, his warm hands wandering around my scalp. "You scared me so much, Oki." South admits shakily. "When I told Japan, she slapped me so hard."

"Why?"

"She didn't want to believe it. She knew her assumptions about you were right, but it all felt like a cruel joke." He says while holding onto me tightly. I feel small and ashamed of myself. Had I really caused all of this? He was still playing his fingers through my hair, the warmth of his touch comforting and soothing to me. I let out a small sob into his body, my chest heaving and starting to ache. It was hard for me to process it all, and my grief started flooding back into my mind with the new information he told me.