Lily Evans and the Marauder's Secrets

Unprepared

AUTHOR NOTE: Read [bracketed] text as struck-through! 

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I exhale.

Despite my reassurances to my mum, a part of me is skeptical this is the right decision. Seeing how anxious she is has me worried, too. I was attacked the last time I was around other witches and wizards. What's really keeping me safe now?

I'll relax once I'm back in the safety of the castle.

But for now... I need a compartment. And fast.

Unfortunately, my options for seating companions are pretty slim. I have no clue where Marlene is; she's supposed to be on the train back to school today, too, but I haven't seen her and I'm not about to go searching the train, because then I might run into James, and I really don't think I could handle a one-on-one conversation with him yet. The whole train ride back to Hogwarts alone with him when I'm still sorting through my feelings and his secrets?

Yeah, no.

What I need is a buffer. What I need is...

When I see them, I almost laugh out loud. Because it's ridiculous and yet... kind of perfect. James wouldn't dare bring up the kiss around her. Before I can second-guess it, I slide into the compartment after Mary and Carol.

The click of the door closing behind me makes them both look up.

"Lily?" Mary asks in surprise.

"Can I sit with you guys?" I ask. "I can't find anywhere else."

"There's nowhere else for you?" Carol scowls. Her eyes flick to the two open seats in their compartment, like she wishes they were occupied.

I shrug. "I guess I could try to find James."

The challenge hangs. Carol glares and I see the indecision warring behind her eyes: endure the whole train ride with me, or send me off to James. Neither are ideal. Mary makes the decision for her.

"Of course you can sit here," she says, and my shoulders relax.

"Thanks." I take the seat next to Mary. "I'll be quiet, I promise." I pull a book out of my bag and wave it at them. Normally I wouldn't play so nice with Carol but I wouldn't put it past her to kick me out just for breathing too loud, and I really do need a place to sit.

"You better be," Carol says nastily, but I ignore her. Out the window, the view has already changed from cityscape to pine trees and frozen terrain. We're well on our way, and I know it'll only be a matter of time before James comes looking for me. I crack open my book, my heartbeat in my throat ticking down the time I have left.

I only hope Carol's as good a buffer as I'm counting on her to be.

The trolley witch has only just gone by with lunch when the compartment door slides open again and there he is.

James.

I drop my eyes back to my book.

"James!" Carol says. She spent all morning complaining under her breath to Mary and throwing me vicious looks. It was bad enough I almost wished I'd faced James instead of enduring her. But now that he's here, she drops her murderous demeanor and beams at him.

"Hey," James says, easing into the compartment. His eyes dart from Carol to Mary to me, like he's trying to make sense of the three of us together. Even with my gaze on my book, I feel his attention settle on me. "Hi, Lily."

This is it. I can do this. I take a deep breath and look up. "Hey."

But immediately, looking at him is a mistake. His dark hair sticks up in every direction, like all he's been doing since the train left King's Cross station is running his hands through it. He hasn't changed into his robes yet, the hem of his white shirt hanging untucked under his sweater, and his glasses sit a little crooked. He should look a mess, but he doesn't. Of course he doesn't, and I fight to keep my gaze steady on him. Really. He has no right looking the way he does right now in his Muggle clothes. Jeans should not have this effect on me. And now all my brain can fixate on is how the last time we were together, I kissed him.