Friends

PART FIFTEEN: FALLING

January 28, 1998, Wednesday

I'm awake, the clock is late. Oh, I'm late to these events. I tried to walk, I tried to open my eyes, but it won't. I stayed in bed, all homesick and fatigued. I didn't eat dinner or breakfast. It's ten in the morning, how late will they see me? When I'm frozen dead on my deathbed, or when I'm calling out for help? I saw what my mom left at the bedside. A plate—still warm, she's not long. It's soup, I feel like a patient already. I ate and ate until I felt hungry, tears streaming down my cheeks. I can't force it to come out, but it did.

My mom came into the room, "So you got a fever, do you? Here, why are you crying?" She wiped my face with her napkin and poured hot water all over it. "I don't know what seems to be the problem but, you should rest dear," she said, placing the hot towel over my forehead. "You still have that gigantic forehead of yours when you were such a baby. Oh, the good times." She left a reassuring sigh, I felt the moment was different.

"Aren't our days a good time?" I asked her before she opened the door.

She turned around and said, "Don't forget to tell me when you're taking a bath. I'll pre-heat the water for you." She left, and it's the thing that happened to me these past years. The last time I got sick, they said, was when I was a little kid. When I was two years old, Julie took care of me because Mom and Dad were outside the house. They forgot about me so she took care of me and even cooked soup as I used to remember her telling me about the good ol' days.

How I miss her brings me to a deep sleep. I woke up with stenches all over my clothes, I was wet all over my body from the sweat. "Oh dear," my mom came inside the room to check on me. "Stand up, I'll pre-heat the tub for you," I refused but in the end, I stood and it hurt my body. "Now, your father's gone so it's best to not let him know that you didn't go to school."

"Can't you back me up sometimes, Mom? It's tiring."

She paused her steps and turned around. Leaving a smile, she left me alone as I went inside the lavatory. I swear I can see her eyes sparkling.

The breeze, it's very cold. I hate the cold, I never liked being warm but I appreciate it's a breeze. I stepped into the bathtub, I got lost in the moment. As if all of this were a maze to get out of my mind. I was relaxed for the first time these past hours. I wanted to sleep but I kept crying. I never knew the feeling of being sick. Damn this fever, damn of all the people. How hard can it get as I get older, don't strike me but I know that it's still here with me in the tub. I'll waste my sleep for a long-lasting life here in the water where I'm covered from head to toe. It's not cold but warm enough as the day proceeds without me. My friends could be calling me but my cell is something I'm unaware about. There's the turbulence, the enormous whale as I get crashed into it. I woke up from a dream, my mom woke me up. As I almost drowned in the bathtub, her tears dropped all over my shoulders as she placed my head over her shoulder. I felt tears falling too.

"What were you doing? Charlie, I can't be a mother to anyone. Not when you're like this," she dried her tears and placed a towel on me. "Please forgive me, I can't stand this."

I was falling to my death, and luckily, someone found me.