Messy by Choice

Mess 22 (Lenox)

I'm pissed. I can't hide it as my jaw and every other muscle in the entirety of my body locks. Ally's waiting for me to answer with those innocent doe eyes that seem like they've never done a single wrong in all their time in this world. She can't not even for a second let me share a moment with her. Let me do something for her that would let us grow closer without having to ruin it like an uncommitting bitch.

"Get on the counter."

Ally hops up with a satisfied bounce. "I thought you'd never ask."

"I'm not asking."

Ally chuckles and starts to strip. I can't stop my body from reacting to her nakedness. She's beautiful even when I'm so mad I want to throw her out of my apartment. "No soft touches or light kisses," Ally says like I'm an idiot who doesn't understand simple concepts. When I'm just an idiot for chasing after her. "If you don't fuck me like you hate me, I don't ever want to see you again."

I think there's a collapse in my psyche because I don't think it up but hear myself tell her. "It's a good thing I don't have to pretend to hate you, because fuck I hate you." I crash my lips against Allys and angle her head up. Bruising both our lips in the process. "I don't think I've ever hated someone more."

I can feel her smiling into the kiss. Maybe she's joking, but she's made me a joke for so long now. Laughing me and my feelings off. I kick her feet apart and reach up her thighs to yank off her underwear. It's too aggressive. It makes her squirm with a happy squeal at the back of her lungs. That annoys me to near logic breaking anger. I step in between Ally's open legs and put two fingers into her all at once.

Ally gasps at being so suddenly stretched open. But she's wet, much wetter than I'd like to believe she'd be for me when I'm not doing something sweet for her.

Ally scratches her nails across my neck and hisses into my ear. She might be in mild pain, but I couldn't tell by the way she moans my name like it's all a performance.

And she calls me the actor. "You can really put on such a show when you want too," I growl into her ear as my fingers incline up into her favorite little knot. She squeals.

Ally's not paying attention to what I'm saying, she's gripping my forearms and cantering with the pleasure.

"And yet you'll never lie to me, will you?" I ask, bitter and angry about it. She seems to have some sense of what I'm saying because she pulls back to question me with her eyebrows knitted.

"You won't give me anything," I say. "No matter how much I pour into you, I'm just going to be that fuck toy you pick up and set aside whenever you want to. You don't even care enough about me to lie."

Ally looks like she's about to open her mouth to maybe reply, but my finger snap and curl hard into that knot and she worms in my arms. Any response lost to a hard gasp as she looks down at what's happening between us.

"I hate that you always have to fucking win."

Ally doesn't look back up at me and it makes me angry as my fingers go harder.

"I hate how fucking pathetic I am chasing after you."

I'm going harder and faster after each sentence, fueling myself on with the anger of the truth.

"I hate how you can just use me as your fuck outlet whenever you feel like and throw me aside right after because you have absolutely no fucking attachment to me whatso ever." Ally's back is arching. She's losing to the pleasure. I'm losing too.

"And I fucking hate how I can't ever learn my lesson and stay away from you." I pull the final flex of fingers that has her body writhing and contorting. Ally's gripping my shoulders and I make believe that it's because she doesn't want me to go. That Ally would hold me this close just because she wants me around just to be around; not just as a nothing-something to waste some free time toying with.