My Callous Monster

33. Reyansh

Visions of bloody violence dance through my mind . With every step I take , I'm being ripped off my sanity . I'm loosing my mind.

I wish to be at a dark place where I can stop this voice in my head .

don't come near me EVER even if I die without your touch.

Monsters don't knock at vacant houses , even if everything is wrong I choose to be there because I'm fine being the villian rather than the victim .

Don't touch me Reyansh , you're hurting me.

Consider me a monster but I'm not selfless and naive , not a fucking hero.

"What happened to you sir are you alright. Should I call kiaan sir ? He's not at home "

The blood in my veins constantly screams to be freed . To be out . There should be blood.  Mine or of somebody else .

you can hit me if you want

Counting starts with someone might not be my thing but I can count the scars I give to this world in exchange of the pain you described .

"Where's mom"

"She has gone to her brother's house and she'll stay the night"

If I could get you in my arms I know you'd scream with hatred that I deserve.

"I'm upstairs , don't disturb me no matter what you hear"

"O-okay sir"

I was beaten , given ugly glares, humiliated and touched without permission as a young girl.

Without turning on any light,  I walk inside the room dialing a call.

"I'm not coming and I'll not do it" he deadpans while I hear Daksh's voice along with his "are you still carrying on with the same stupidity?"

"Either you come or I'll do it myself and you know if I do it--"

"You'll fucking get yourself killed , I'm coming " king hangs up and I fall on my bed .

I've cried for it everyday and every night.

My pupils dance with dark images of a murder or destruction whatever I can do right now.

I've seen hell in that dungeon where I lived packed in a room with so many people . I could hardly see sunlight in ages and you tell me to stop ?

"Lawrence !!" I growl and he comes rushing upstairs. "I was about to leave,  my work is done sir ,I--"

"Hit me"

you can hit me if you want

"I don't like late answers , hit.me."

"I'll call Mr Raghuvanshi he'll---"

"you heard me DIDN'T YOU !!"

"I can't hit you sir . Tell me to do anything but I can't hit you"

I walk closer and look directly into his eyes "then bring me those who kidnapped us "

"I'm trying"

"Untill then ,you'll have to help me stay sane ." I open my cupboard and give him the bat.

It takes everything in him to pick it up and slam it against my shoulder . The pain doesn't even feel because of the voice in my head .

I was slapped for laughing,  slapped for crying.

"Don't stop , don't stop"

Who is responsible for that can you tell me ?

I am responsible,  I'm the one who left you there who couldn't keep the promises I made . For once in my life,  I decided to protect someone and I fucking failed . Every hit is harder than the previous one but I'm not able to forget anything.  With every scream , I let out emotions for the first time. It has been my strength to be able to keep my emotions hidden from everyone.  Not letting anybody know what I'm actually thinking of but today I'll have to because otherwise I'll burn everything around me.