The Love Dodecahedron Duology (Book 1 + 2)

Chapter 8

"My mood ranges from extremely angry to mildly irritated", Mr Parachutey said.

Helga had had ENOUGH! Her inner cow clawed and moo-ed at the person she was in close proximity to. They were CLEARLY violating her "stay out of a 2 m proximity to me unless you're Bry-bry uwu 🥰" rule. How humiliating.

Noah's gf had had ENOUGHHH! Her inner naked mole rat chewed at her remaining brain cells, viciously digesting them. Whoever had put them together for all their classes deserved to die. What's more, they were put in the same DORM!

According to the latest news that Mr Parachutey had continued to ramble endlessly about during Hass (which was supposed to be about the source analysis test 10 minutes after), he accidentally spilled the squid marinara socks about the board's plan to not only extend the amount of time the two groups would be exposed, but also to move the two groups into the SAME DORM BUILDING. Kill me yesterday, she thought. Ficklebum!

Garglebottom! Helga swore as the teacher moved onto the impact of carrot farming in Antarctica on the cost of living on the coast in Sweden.

"What shampoo do you use?" Noah's gf asked casually. Maybe she had a change of heart, a sliver of sympathy for her battered and damaged ego?

"I bet I could only buy a twirly wurly with the price of it-tuh 🤪😤🤢🥱💅" She emphasized the "tuh", hoping it would increase her mean girl slay queen girl boss plastic no makeup natural looks slay meter.

"You know what else looks like a twirly wurly? Your posture 💅" Ha. She wouldn't be able to think of a slay comeback for this-

"At least I don't have the posture of a Dendrobranchiata! 🦐🦐🦐"

Ugh! Utterly reedikyouluss! "💅🦄😼🤪!" She screemed.

"😤🤢🐵👁️🫦👁️!!!!"

"👹
👚

🧦👞!!!"

"🧌🧌🧌🧌!"

"🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴!!!!!"

"🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃!!!!!1111!11!"

"SEELENSIO!" Mr Parachutey bellowed much like a termite infested bubble eye goldfish. "Thee two, wend to detentionioismisticed!"

As sulking as a mice, the two proficient emoji arguers stalked to the door while Sam Vallebanana tutted in the corner.

From maths to art to the Parliament house to the boys toilets to detentionioismisticed, the two were ALWAYS TOGETHER. And now, being stuck in said detentionioismisticed for the next 27 hours, they needed to escape the prying earwig-like sunflower seed-sized eyes of Ms Baguette. Twogehtha.

"Vell, vell, vell. BAGS IN THE CADDIES, LADIES. CHOP CHOP!"

Noah's gf's stomach rumbled and grumbled and rumbled rumbily. She stared gracefully with her forehead at Ms Baguette's chicken, chick pea, chicken tender, chicken mcnugget, shredded chicken, chicken salt, cherry tomato (singular), msg garden salad. "May we have a chicken mcnugget?" Noah's gf asked in her well-practiced British accent made to impress No-no. "We are terribly hangry."

"No!"

Great. Now they were going to starve to death in this room and be left to rot outside conspicuously. How would No-no fall in love with her if her face was half decomposed? Ugh 😣!

Ms Baguette turned to her kindle book, titled "Feral Sins, Phoenix Pack #1", cackling as she did.

Helen turned to Noah's gf. This was their chance. The only way they: 1. Wouldn't starve to death (too unappealing, Bryan would avoid her in the afterlife), and 2. Wouldn't be spooked to death (Ms Baguette's dried spongebob like wrinkles posed as a threat to both their sanity and their mental health) would be to escapay like slay queen girl bosses.

"🐴", Noah's gf called.

"😾?!?!!?"

"🪟🏃‍♀️?" Noah's gf proposed her fail proof plan. Sure, the window was a bit high to reach, meaning Ms Baguette could grab them by their ankles, yank them down with her spongebob powers and lecture them about the importance of putting bags in the bag caddies, but that wouldn't happen!

"❌❌❌❌. 🚪💃👯‍♀️📞🕺🌎!"

Using her incredible emoji arguing skills she had practiced during their classes together, she instantly translated her seemingly extremely confusing string of pixels. "Anahnahnahnahnahnahnhnonoo. We should escape through the door, so we- no, I, can sashay out, strike a pose and call out for Bry-bry to hold my hand as I walk to Hass!"

Wtf. Was she dumb? (yes)

"If we make it to Hass.. and who's Bry-bry any- "

Noah's gf gasped, realising she had spoken in Inglese. As she turned around dramatically, the first thing she saw was Ms Baguette's gnarly purple spectacles invading her personal space.

"🥉...🥈...🥇...💃💃💃💃💃💃!!!!!"

The two gworls strutted out the open door that had conveniently been opened. Ms Baguette deserved this. She was so misogynistic, sexist, agist, racist, heightist and wrinkeist.

"BRrRRRyRYyYyYYy-bRyRYYRyRyYRyYyYy!/!1!1"

3 seconds passed. Then five, then ten. But still, not a single knobbly finger appeared within her field of view. It seemed that Bry-bry had cut off his furry alpha sigma omega wolfy dog-like connection with her. Helga could no longer call out to him. It was fruitless. She droopily shuffled away, huffle-ing and puffle-ing.