The Love Dodecahedron Duology (Book 1 + 2)

Chapter 13 - Finale

This was not happening. This could not happen. That's what everyone who sat in the sacrificial circle near the lockers was thinking as Maya, Laurel-yanny and the very much sleep deprived Clarence explained everything they needed to process that the world was probably most likely going to end lols.

"So we're going to die?"

"FICKLEBUM! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!?@2211f1!"

Maya sighed. It was going to be fruitless, trying to work the -2 braincells of Noah to compute and store information.

Looking over at Clarence, Maya asked "Are you going to input some nuggets of your inky knowledge into this conversation? If not, remember to say some boundary setting statements, like "thank you for your advice, please give me some time to think about it" and "I do not appreciate your condescending attitude" and "no" and-"

Annoyed that she was suddenly interrupted from expelling the results of their late night research into the effects of increasing the amount of Taco-bell on the funky-ness of stools produced by the digestive system by a ear-piercing strangled giraffe-like squawk, she turned, folding her arms together and materialising a wooden spoon which she placed in her outstretched talon, avoiding the plastic grasp of her newly applied 16 inch nails, and narrowly escaping the brush of her completely natural 30000000000 x 10^-12 km eyelashes. "You gud gworl?"

Clarence was anything but gud. Her left eye twitched. No matter how much she kept it under the control of her spirit animal, her beta cabbage-ness wasn't enough to keep it intact. Her neck yanked her head to the side. Her mouth hung open, twisting into a hollow smile. Her tongue curled without her demanding it to, spilling out the words "of course. Why wouldn't I be fanum tax?"

But there was no time to react. The crusty ahh apartment building school shook and shook and shook and shook and shake.

The Big Ass Fan above them abruptly fell down, nearly crushing Bryan. Noah rushed forward, cupping Bry-bry's face. "bro im fine", he said with such rizz.

Marchily, one of Boomquifa's friends, burst into the building. She bore the same blank, hollow expression as Boomquifa. Stepping forward, her mouth moved on its own, separate to the rest of her frail and Asian body. An off brand dollar store Gudetama bag hung from her shoulders. "You will be Hinged. You will be Hinged. I will make you Hinged. Eggs. We really like eggs. You will be Hinged."

Her ominous mantra travelled towards the 12 as she walked forward, hands outstretched in front of her. "._. ._. ._. ._. ._.", she chanted.

Another shadow soon followed in pursuit of the egg master. No, The Elizabreath thought. It couldn't be. Boomquifa was also hinged. Her Boomquifa.

Breaking her walk, Marchily and Boomquifa launched forward, playing a ._.ly game of tag with the group. Marchily's twiggy stick hand reached out blindly. She couldn't think. She wanted to squawk, let everyone know that she was being controlled, but she couldn't. Her hand finally hit something. Drawing the last of her egg strength, she forced her head up. She had hit Bryan.

Something transformed in Bryan. It felt like failing his first ever university diploma piano exam all over again. Instantly, his brain was recoded, replacing endless lines of mathecking equations with a single script. "I am going to tag you. You will be Hinged. I am going to be hinged. Mathecking. I will hinged. ._."

He grabbed out his highlighter which he previously used to scratch his scalp during Mathecking class and, using it like a wand, transferred his hinged mhajhick to the closest person next to him.

Spartacus. He was too busy trying to beat his highscore in Teris that he didn't notice the pungent smell of decaying hair follicles coming in his direction. But it was too late. Like the others, he had become Hinged.

Boomquifa seemed to have less luck than the newcomers. She lunged forward, trying to tag Noah's gf, but failed. Retreating blushingly, embarrassed about her failureism presented to her Asian ancestors, she ran forward again, this time right into the elbow of The Elizabreath.

Boomquifa couldn't breathe. Every minute muscle in her body wanted to escape, to extract that hinge out of The Elizabreath. Despite her inspiring pre-transformation monologue and their banter about gay shirtless men webtoons, she still loved The Elizabreath. For all her plastic wig hair, for all her Walmart clothing isle fashion choices.

And now she had been the one to seal The Elizabreath's fate into the hands of the Hinged-ness.

Laurel-yanny was scared. So scared that she'd bundled her large flimsy frame into an Amazon shipping box in the corner, hoping that she'd be discreet enough to escape the blank gazes of the Hinged ones.

Upon further thought (which Laurel-yanny was surprisingly able to do; it must've been the adrenaline), she should've probably chosen a box that wasn't just a flap of cardboard stretched across her waist like a swim ring.

In the corner of her forehead, she saw Clarence desperately turning her head back and forth, avoiding the outstretched arms of the Hinged. The Elizabreath, infected, had extended one grimy grease-coated shoe to try and snatch away a Chosen mhajhick-granted person. This was exactly what wasn't supposed to happenuh!! The Chosen ones could be the ONLY ones to revert thisuh!!

Snapping her eyes open, summoning her inner rokurokubi (long neck thing), and elongating her neck, she squealed "loOoOoOOkKkKkK OuoouUuYtTtTt! 💃 RuUuuUUNnNNnNNN!"

The Elizabreath, startled by her screech, had run off, instead tagging Noah's gf, who started chanting "Sephora kids are drunk elephants, Ali London is my idol and you should be hinged turtles"

But now, in the centre of her view, a pair of glossed eyes, only bearing a sliver of reminiscence to the old Clarence, fixed on her. Clarence's left eye twitched. Her mouth stretched out to form an ugly, fake smeeleh, gaping until all her teeth showed and her eyes widened. An eerie tune escaped her lips.

"Sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler. You're so skibidi. You're so fanom tax."

Backing away, the box still stuck on her dress, she abruptly hit the wall behind her.

"I just wanna be your sigma. Freaking come here. Give me your ohio."

Clarence had stopped. Letting out the breath she'd been holding onto, Laurel-yanny gasped for air dramatically. But she was cut short by the ghastly hand of Noah's gf hitting her shoulder. As her brain broke, Clarence's words resonated in her head.

"The Skibidi Cult Master has arrived. You will be skibidi."

What did she mean?