The Love Dodecahedron Duology (Book 1 + 2)

Chapter 11

Helga's inner cow couldn't help but turn into beef bowls as she stalked the boy's dorm, watching both her one and only Bry-Bry chase after the utterly un-slay degenerate weeb Noah. The un-slay part was something Helga had just decided. She thought Noah had chosen her! Not Noah's gf, not Bry-Bry, but HER. Not only that, now she was super duper doubly sure that Bry-Bry wasn't into her, as she watched the explanations for calculus flowing out of his fishy lips, and his entranced eyes focused on Noah. As her Veggietale leek heart broke, seasoning the beef bowls, she felt an idea welling up inside her, growing until it spilled out of her ear canals. She let out a quick squawk before hurrying off, carrying the idea in her hot pink barbie x dracula lunchbox.

Boomquifa let out a sort of Jashriek-sigh hybrid. She thought that the new dorm arrangements would allow her to finally reunite with Laurel-Yanny. But alas, they had been separated once again, this time, not by a fence, but by howling mass of degeneratays fighting over the singular charging point. Therefore, it was rendered basically impossible for her to send Jashrieks over to Laurel-Yanny, and even more tragically, they had not a single class together throughout the entire Intelligeneratay curriculum! She released several more Jashrieks as she wandered to the library non-fiction section, thinking about all those times Laurel-Yanny had turned down her invitations, always on trips to the math classroom, or the sunglasses store. She stared into the mirror, wondering where their friendship had gone. Except it wasn't a mirror. It was The Elizabreath's greasy forehead, complete with stray hairs and eyebrows filled with a wide array of various snacks and delicacies.

"what u want huh??? Im trying to game here u monkey ahh bitch ass cunt ass motherfucker. Y u gotta be so crusty huh???? U could never understand u goofy ahh non-gamer slutty ass hoe"

Boomquifa was extremely perturbed by this sudden outburst, but she maintained her composure. "Whateth gameth is thy playething?" she inquired, blinking her eyes approximately 2.0057308 times more often, hoping to get on the same wavelength as the irritated degeneratay.

"I'm playing Minecraft u retard. Y u gotta be so demented huh?? Cant even tell what game im playing from the keys I'm tapping."

"I just wantethed to be sureth." Boomquifa replied, deciding to withhold that, in fact, most first or third person open world games would have similar controls.

"Aiyaa the only place i can charge my MacWindows surface tablet w pro max (8th edition) is in this crusty ahh library. Y this school gotta be so goofy huh???"

As she was listening to the Elizabreath rant, Boomquifa had already borrowed the two books she had been wanting to read; 'Crime and Punishment' by Fyodor Dostoevsky, and 'John Smith's 69 easy steps to getting over a cocaine addiction' by Johners Smithers. She had wanted to read her books in the library, but she was hesitant because of 2 things. One being the amount of Degeneratays that had taken over the reading corner, and the other being the lack of shirtless anime men on the cover of her newly obtained books.

Staying with the Elizabreath had already proven itself entertaining, and perhaps even educational, or dare she say, revolutionary, in the study of primates. She looked over The Elizabreaths shoulder to see her Minecraft character, which had donned a particularly edgy looking skin, running around a cave that seemed stripped of all natural resources.

"Lookie! I got 10 diamonds from just this cave. Im so rich hyukhyukhyukhyukhyuk"

Boomquifa remained silent and watched as the Elizabreath wandered through the empty cave for another 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 30. It had become abundantly clear to Boomquifa that there was nothing left to be found here. What's more, this entire cave system seemed to be within a singular Minecraft chunk.

"Doth thou not knoweth that there ist non more diamonds in the caveth?"

"HUHHHH??" The Elizabreath replied, "DAMMIT I thought this was my lucky cave. Why mojang gotta be so mean huh??? Crusty ahh mf bitch ass ugly ass dumb ass cave wasting my time"