Right Place, Right Time - Rhea Ripley

Chapter 16 - Mistake?

August 2020:

I stretched in bed, expecting to see Demi by my side, but she wasn't there. Strange. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, and glanced over at the open door to the living room. That's where I saw her. Demi was slumped over on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. Something about her posture told me that she was lost in thought. I knew there was something in her mind.

A few weeks had passed since everything had happened, but slowly, me and Demi just stopped being at all, sexual, with each other. The most we would do is sleep beside each other and kiss now.

I got up, padding over to the couch and sitting down beside her. "Hey," I said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinched slightly, but didn't pull away. "You okay?" She turned to look at me, her eyes blank.

"I don't know.." She mumbled, turning her gaze back to the TV. "I just... I keep thinking about what happened a few weeks ago. We were so intense, so... connected, and then..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath. "I just wonder if we should have slowed down. If we took it too fast. Maybe we should have taken more time to be all romantic without my sexual side getting in the way." Her voice was tinged with self-doubt, and I could feel my chest tighten.

"Demi, listen to me." I said gently, cupping her face in my hands. "I don't regret any of it. I mean, it was amazing. And I'm still getting to know you, even without that side of things. I like you, and I want to be with you..." She looked at me searchingly, and I hoped I was getting through. "And if we decide we want to take it slow, or fast, or whatever, I'm down for that too. I trust you, and I trust us."

"I don't know Kayla.. I don't think I'm in the right mindset to decide that right now. I keep thinking about how good it all felt, and I just want more of that. But I don't want to rush us either. I just want to enjoy being with you, and figure things out as we go. You know, get to know each other better before we make any big decisions about the future. It's just... I'm so confused. After the whole Jessie situation, I went back to how I used to be, sleeping with women to feel something.."

I got all confused and upset, "So are you saying you slept with me to try and feel something?" I clenched my fist, feeling a stab of hurt.

"No, no, of course not!" Demi quickly protested, her expression pained. "For once in my life I feel loved and wanted, and I don't want to lose that. It's just... everything feels so new and different with you. I'm just trying to figure it all out." She took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. "I'm sorry if I made it sound bad. I just want to be honest about how I'm feeling and what's going through my head... I'm so bad at wording things... Fuck." She sat up, walking to her apartment door, opening it and taking a few steps outside before turning back to me. "Maybe we should just... take a break? Give us both some space to think?"

"Take a break?" I repeated, my voice a little shaky. I felt a lump forming in my throat. "How long of a break? A day? A week? I don't know if I can do that."

Demi's face twisted into an expression of pain, and she took a step closer. "I don't want to lose you, Kayla," she said softly. "I don't want to push you away. But I just need some time to... figure things out. To remember what it feels like to just be me, without all of this confusing stuff going on."

I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. "Okay," I managed to choke out. "I understand. I just... I hope you don't forget how you feel about me while you're figuring things out."

Demi's eyes met mine, and for a moment I thought I saw a flicker of resolve. "I won't," she said softly. "I promise I won't." Then, without another word, she leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. It was a brief kiss, filled with longing and uncertainty, and before I knew it, she was gone out the door. I had no idea where she was going, or when she'd be back. All I could do was stand there, staring at the empty space where she'd been, my heart feeling heavy in my chest.

I wanted to go back to the day when we just kissed, before all the tension and confusion. I remembered how easy it was to be around her, how natural it felt. Maybe if we could just go back to that, we could figure everything else out.

But it was gonna be tough, taking a break from someone who lived with me, did everything with me, and was literally my best friend. So, I decided to give her some space. I'd be respectful and understanding, but I also needed some time to figure out what I wanted.

I spent the next few days avoiding her apartment, sleeping over at Alyssa's, going to the gym more than usual, the days Demi didn't go, hanging out with my friends at the coffee shop. Anything to keep my mind off of her. I didn't want to make things any harder than they already were. But no matter where I went or what I did, I couldn't shake the feeling that something important was missing.

It didn't matter how much of a good day I had, I'd always end up alone in Alyssa's spare room, crying my eyes out. I was a mess, and I couldn't seem to get a grip on myself. Every time I thought about Demi, I just wanted to be with her, to hold her and never let go. But then I'd remember what she'd said about needing space, and I'd have to push those thoughts away. It was killing me, slowly but surely.

The worst part was that I knew I was partly to blame for this mess. We had jumped into things way too fast, and now we were both paying the price. I just wished I knew what I was supposed to do. Should I wait for her, give her all the space she needed? Or should I try to move on, to forget about her and find someone else?

I couldn't seem to make up my mind. Every time I tried to focus on something else, my thoughts would inevitably drift back to Demi. It was like she was a drug, and I was addicted to her. I couldn't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone else.

Days turned into weeks, and still, I hadn't heard from her. I knew she needed her space, but it was killing me not to know what was going on in her head. Was she thinking about us? About us together? Or had she already moved on?

I took my antidepressants, they helped ease the pain a little, but it wasn't enough. Nothing could take away the ache in my heart, the hollowness in my chest. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face, felt her touch. I wanted her back. I missed her so much it hurt.

I tried to distract myself with work, but my mind kept wandering. Every time the phone rang, I hoped it would be her. Every time I checked my social media, I hoped she'd have messaged me. But there was nothing. Nothing but silence...