Not all light is good
Not all dark is evil.
Hotaru Nakajima was not born to be soft. She was born to make the world shatter and shake at her fingertips. She was bathed in darkness from the moment she touched the light and in that darkness she took...
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Hotaru stares out at the expansive darkness that surrounds her like a comforting blanket. She didn't know how long she had been sitting here in this empty space but she wasn't too concerned about it. She was still reeling from her fight with her sensei's ability. The pain her heart felt over having to battle against him was still present and raw.
Her hand that was curled against her chest tightens as she thinks about that. A tear drips from her eye and lands on the void below causing it to ripple. Here in this vast empty plane she could finally allow herself to fully break. Those dreaded emotions she had buried so deep within herself could finally rush to the surface and come out uninhibited.
She no longer held back and allowed that barrage of crystalline tears to rush forward and down her face. Her lips which normally held a smirk or a neutral pout now quivered as soft sobs broke through them. She always hated crying. Her hatred for it was more than it being a show of weakness. It made her sick when those transparent tears streaked down puffy cheeks. It was those wet trails that reflected the emotional release that accompanied sorrow. And she hated sorrow.
Sorrow was like an uninvited guest that barged into her tightly controlled emotional sanctuary. It infiltrated the mind and created conflict. It disrupted her thoughts and only brought pain with it. There were only a handful of times she allowed that dreaded emotion to overcome her and now this time was added to the list. She grieved her sensei and brother figure. Grieved for him like she had never grieved before. She thought she had already gone through the grief part of her life when it came to him but she realized that she never truly had.
She had pushed his death away, lived in a degree of denial while still recognizing he was gone. That day she took Kyusaku to Kaito's grave was the first time she had been there since he was buried. She drank herself into oblivion when that day came around every year and threw herself into her work every other day. It was a way to cope. A release and a distraction all in one.
Natusme Kaito's death was the very reason she pushed people away. She was scared to get hurt in the way he had hurt her when he left. She refused to allow another person to bring her that dreaded flood of pain and sorrow again.
