Defy Gravity | The Sequel | Eren x OC

*Chapter 44: Aishitemasu Eren Pt.II

I'll be waiting,

Waiting for you,

Let me hold you under the tree

'Under the Tree' by SiM

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The rain that was at once falling on this bright warm summer day has let up, and now the vegetation in Shiganshina sighs happily as it grows greener and takes in the water it's been given. You look outside the window and watch the leaves of a tree drip rainwater as the sun's rays shine through them. You turn and look at all the bookshelves in this office, the PhDs and certificates, the academic awards. You blink as you slowly come back into focus, realizing you're in a session.

"So... how are we feeling today Rose?" a vibrant female voice says and you blink and turn to see you're sitting in a small room across from your therapist Hanji-san.

You smile a little as you struggle a bit to cross your legs, your baby bump making it harder to. You're now seven months along on this July 14th 2024 afternoon, and you rest your hand over your swelling belly, hidden under your yellow sundress.

"I'm...I'm holding up," you sigh. "This day's always a rough one to get through..."

"Mmm I bet it is," Hanji smiles gently. "Death anniversaries always are..."

"Mmhmm," you hum sadly. "It's been how long? 25 years and I still can't believe she's gone... this year feels all the worse."

"I bet it does," Hanji says gently. "This being the first anniversary where you yourself are a mother. I'm sure you're processing things very differently today, especially with what happened to you."

"I am," you nod sadly. "Knowing I almost... I almost left Oliver motherless, this feels so strange to me..."

"Why does it feel strange?"

"I don't know," you sigh heavily. "I just... you know how I've been feeling lately..."

"Mmm, like you're on borrowed time," Hanji smiles quietly. "You know you can't think like that Rose, it won't do you any good... especially with your children..."

"I know," you say, your cheeks flushing. "I know I need to get over this... weird death fatality but I just... I just am having a hard time with it... it doesn't feel right..."

"What doesn't feel right?"

You drop your gaze as you think back to your persistent dreams of water and drowning, of lightning and thunderous booms that get louder with each passing second. "Nothing... just some weird universal thing..." you murmur.

"Hmm, and how have things been with your affirmations and meditations..." Hanji says, eyeing you closely. "Remember last week, we talked about you creating some to help you with blame... let's hear what you've written out so far."

You sigh as you begin to recite your affirmations. "I am not responsible for the sexual violence I've faced. I am not to blame for what he did to me. I did not bring this all on myself and my family. I deserve love and respect. I deserve peace of mind. I deserve a happy life." You flush from the slight vulnerability, from the flashes of memories of his hands on you, his body inside you. You murmur slightly, still not fully out of your shell about talking so out in the open.

"Good Rose, that's very good..." Hanji says and smiles at you. "And remember, you've been through a serious trauma with that monster. It's serious, you should take it seriously, and so should everyone else. It's not a race to recovery, and it's not something anyone should expect you to get over, so don't expect it of yourself.... How's the book coming along?"