Stray Kids Drabbles

To Saturn and back

After being brain-dead and on a ventilator for days, Hyunjin is forced to cope with the realization that you're not coming back.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

"I don't know how to let you go," Hyunjin finally spoke up. After staying by your side for days while you remained unconscious in the hospital, the soft beeps of the heart rate monitor were the only thing keeping him company besides your steady breathing.

The sharp smell of antiseptic filled your room. No matter how many hours he stayed by your side, he couldn't get used to it. He watched your chest move up and down in silence. His tears stopped flowing at some point as his sorrow ebbed into a state of numbness.

"I know it's selfish of me to want you to stay, but you're still warm." His hand slipped into yours and he wrapped his fingers around the back of your palm. He used to say the two of you fit together like a perfect puzzle. "I keep thinking I'll wake up from this nightmare."

"One of these times, I'll look up and I'll be able to see your eyes flutter open." A broken chuckle fell from his lips. "You used to look at me with such affection. It always warmed my heart. One look from you seemed to melt my worries away." He kept his eyes focused on your hands.

"I've begged the doctors to change the outcome, but it's always the same. Every test they run, you don't respond, and that's how I know you're really gone. If you were still here, you'd try so hard to prove you were alive." His thumb dusted against the top of yours. "I know you would if you could."

His words stopped for a few moments and his gaze went to your face. How cruel of the world to present you to him as a sleeping beauty. You looked like you were sleeping and showed no signs of being brain-dead. The dim lights behind your bed casted shadows on your face. He tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

The ventilator had been secured around your head with a plastic strap. A clear plastic tube was cautiously eased into your throat by the steady hands of a doctor. The larger tube tapered off into two smaller blue tubes. One pushed in oxygen whereas the other pulled out carbon dioxide.

"Your family came to visit a few times. I remember how lively your family was when we visited them for the holidays. They were so upbeat and happy. Warm smiles, open arms, and tight hugs." His heart stung at the memory. "They're trying their best to cope."

"I hope wherever you are, I hope you don't blame yourself. Nobody ever asks for these things to happen, they just do." He shut his eyes for a moment. A soft sigh escaped his lips. "We've been hoping and praying that you'll come around, but..." His voice lowered, "it's been a few weeks now."

"I think it's time we l-let," his voice cracked, "you go." He swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat and went on. "Your family couldn't be here for this and I'm sorry, but they've known you your whole life. This is the most difficult decision they've ever had to make."

"They all said their final good-byes yesterday and I hope you heard them. They really care about you, you know? We all do." His attention was pulled from you when there was a knock and the door opened.

A nurse stood in bright blue scrubs. Her mouth opened to say something, but her gaze softened upon the scene before her. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but the doctor would like to know when you're ready to..." She couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"Is it alright if I have a few more minutes?"

"Of course," she forced herself to smile. "Please take all the time you need." She spun around and shut the door without another word.