all too well // august horn av årnäs x reader

16

august was sitting next to me in one of the seats in felice's living room. vincent was to his other side. wille was towards the middle of the room, next to simon.
there were around twenty people there, some of which i didn't know that well.

we were watching the american netflix horror movie 'in the tall grass'. it was confusing, more than scary to be honest.
there was a silence in the movie and no one was saying anything. out of nowhere, one of the characters screamed and everyone got scared at the suddenness.
i flinched and grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be august's hand.

he moved his hand and placed it on top of mine, interlocking our fingers slightly, then moved our hands in unison and placed them on top of my knee.

this was the first our hands had touched.

after a couple seconds i looked up at him and he was staring at the movie, trying to fight a smile.

i got up to go to the bathroom, and let go of his hand. he looked at me confused.

"...bathroom." i said to him.

he nodded and turned to say something to vincent.

i left and began walking around felice's house trying to find where the bathroom was. it was a huge mansion with tons of rooms and corridors,
as i was exploring the place, i heard a familiar voice.

wilhelm's.

i followed the sound of his voice, finding the room where he was at. but saw simon was there with him.
i stood at the doorway not sure what they were doing or why they were there. suddenly simon kissed him, and my eyes went wide.

holy shit.

i quickly turned around and went somewhere else, wanting them to have their privacy.

i was so stupid.
how could i not have noticed the way they looked at each other?

they looked cute together though.

i continued searching for the bathroom until i found it.
when i came out, i saw august looking around.
he noticed me and raised his eyebrows.

"there you are." he said.

i stayed quiet.
my brain was overloading with the holding hands with him and the discovery of wilmon.

he approached me.
"are you alright?"

"uh... yeah. why?"

"you're not this quiet."

"rude." i smiled at him.

he smiled back at me.
"i meant that- you talk to me. like when you were drunk and you kept saying-"

"dont!, don't." i said, cutting him off.
my face cringed at the mention of this.

"why not?" he laughed.

"it's embarrassing."

"well, i've done worse things when drunk." he said, trying to make me feel better.

i couldn't argue with that. he had more experience with partying than i did. he'd been doing it since like three years and i had only started around a year ago, so he probably did worse things than just blackout and throw up.

he stepped nearer to me.
"are you... liking the movie?"

"no." i replied honestly.

"it's shit." he nodded.

we were too close to each other.
and i realised, he wanted and was going to kiss me.

i hadn't kissed a guy in a while, and frankly i had forgotten how to.

my mind was racing.

he got closer to me, putting one hand on my waist and the other on my hair, putting it behind my ear softly.
he looked down at me, staring into my eyes and bent down; his hand on my chin.
he was shaking slightly, which meant he was nervous.

i stared up at him and at his mouth,
but when our faces were about to touch, i turned mine to the side; his lips kissing my cheek instead of my own.

it's not that i didn't want to kiss him, i just-
i don't know.

i panicked.

he looked down at me, my eyes searching his.
i could see i had just hurt him.
bad.

"i- i'm sorry." i said looking down.

i walked away, cussing myself out in my head, and just decided to leave altogether. i couldn't bear sitting next to him after that, so i messaged my friends that i had to leave early because i wasn't feeling well.