all too well // august horn av årnäs x reader

25

the dark night sky and cold air outside made my room look gloomy and feel oddly chilly. it was so late that you could barely see the stars or the moon anymore. and it was difficult to see the different furniture in my room.

i couldn't sleep.
my mind kept bringing things up that made it impossible to.

i sat up in my bed, staring at the wall in front of me, hoping that tiredness would soon hit me. but it didn't.

i got up and went over to my desk, opening my drawer and grabbing a book to read.

i sat back down on my bed, resting my back against the wall behind me and opened up the book.

'veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada y cien sonetos de amor' the title read.

it was a book with love poems written by a famous chilean author. it was given to me as a christmas gift from my dad. he liked poetry like that. he said it reminded him of when him and my mom first met each other and that his favourite one was the twentieth one.
i'm aware it's mean but i never actually read the book.
i always found poetry to be too hard to read or too hard to interpret. it's my only source of entertainment at the moment though. i could go on my phone, but i already spent plentiful time scrolling past meaningless short videos and pictures and now it just seemed boring.

i flipped the book pages to the last poem, my dad's favorite to see what it said.

'puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche. pensar que no la tengo. sentir que la he perdido'
(i can write the most sad verses this evening. think about how i don't have her. feel as if i've lost her)
one of the stanzas read.

i didn't know if it was the sadness of the poem or the mood and setting of where i was at, but i could feel the poem resonating with me in a way.

i heard a knock on my window and jumped slightly. it was around one or two in the morning.

who would want to see me at this hour?

i lifted my sight from the book, turning it to the window, where i saw august standing.

he gave me a goofy smile and waved at me.

am i dreaming? because this does not seem real.

the way he was acting was weird. it was different to his upsetness with me from before.

i closed my book and placed it on my bed, getting up so i could open the window.

"helloooo" he said.

yeah he's not sober.

"did you drink?" i asked.

he pouted and then did a "just a little" motion with his hand.
i rolled my eyes and him and motioned for him to come in.

he sloppily put his leg over the bottom of the window and then his other leg, sitting at the edge with his back facing the outside.

i grabbed him by the hands and tried pulling him towards me so he could fully be in the room and he wouldn't accidentally fall backwards.

trying to pull up a 6'3/190 cm. guy who works out all the time is not for the weak.
unfortunately, i am 'the weak'
so as i pulled, and he slumped over me, putting a lot of his weight on me, i found it difficult to remain standing.

he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug, putting them over my own.

i could smell the scent alcohol on him. it wasn't even one type, it was multiple kinds.

"august, i can not move my arms." i told him.

he softened his grip on me and i moved my arms up so i could hug him back.

"y/nnnnn, y/n."

"yes?"

"varför får han alltid allt jag inte får"

his speech sounded slurred and i couldn't fully comprehend what he was saying.

"what?"

"you.. you should tell simon thank you"

i knew that wasn't what he said originally but i brushed it off.
i pulled away from the hug and looked at him confused.

"for what?"

"the pills."

so he's on unknown pills too.

i sighed deeply and then tried dragging him over to my bed.

he layed down on it and stared up at the ceiling.
"bekväm"
(comfy)

i looked down at him debating what to do.