all too well // august horn av årnäs x reader

26

"i'll be back. stay here."

he turned to look at me.
"where're you going?"

"to get you something."

"you will come back?"

"yes."

i went out and grabbed a glass of water then returned to my dorm.

august was now standing up, hovering over my desk and examining the stuff that was on it.
he picked up and held up my computer, beginning to examine it.

"careful please." i pleaded, walking back in and shutting the door behind me.

i stepped close to him and slowly took the laptop out of his hands, replacing it with the cup of water.

"tackkk"
(thankssss)

he held the cup in his hands and approached me, pulling me in into another uncoordinated hug.

i patted his back awkwardly, then returned the hug. once i pulled away, i took the cup from him and set it on my desk, sighing.

i grabbed his arm lightly, dragging him over to the bed and sitting him down on it.

"what are you on?" i asked softly, examining his face and pupils closely.

"...din säng?" he replied looking up at me.
(...your bed?)

"not literally. i mean what pills did you take?"

"vita?"
(white?)

"but what type?"

"the pill type?"

"how helpful."
i sighed again, putting my fingers on my nose bridge and shaking my head.

i give up.

i sat down beside him in defeat.

he was in no state to say anything that rational, let alone explain what happened. not to mention his random language switches back and forth from english to swedish and back to english.

sooner or later, at around 4 a.m we fell asleep. august had fallen asleep before me, and i had laid down on the left side of my bed, trying to maintain a distance from him for the sake of respecting his personal space.
when i woke up i felt a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and his body really close to mine.

i opened my eyes and moved away, getting up on my feet and heading to the bathroom to pull myself together.

i don't want him to witness me just woken up in all of my... disheveled-ness.

i brushed my hair and washed my hair and face.
by the time i came back, august was sat upright on the bed with his back against the wall. he looked tense.

i stared at him with surprise in my eyes. i hadn't thought he'd wake up so easily.

"...did i come here?" he asked.

"yeah."

"h-how?"

"you knocked on my window at 2 a.m"

there was one thing i was curious about, which i couldn't help but ask impulsively.
"i thought you were mad at me?"

"i was not mad, i was upset."

he cleared his throat before speaking again.
"i uhh- apologise for coming. i was drunk and high."

"i noticed."

an awkward silence filled the room.

august broke it before i had the chance to.
"jag... i should go."
(i)

but i don't want him to.

he got up from my bed and began heading towards my door.

"wait, august-" i interrupted him.
"why- why'd you come here?"

"it's not like i can remember." he replied with a mean and sarcastic undertone.

"you could have gone anywhere, august. why here?"

he stared at me with quietness.

after a couple seconds he replied.
"i had missed you."

"then why not come sober?"

"i am sober now-"

"for now" i muttered.
the words felt like an accidental dig at his habit of partying.

"...i was angry." he confessed.

angry? at me?

"at me?" i asked.

"no. at wilhelm, and... at life altogether."

here we go with this again.

"i don't like him."

i don't know how many times i need to repeat myself.

"you picked him over me."

"i didn't pick anyone over you- i wouldn't pick someone over you."

"i... don't believe you."

"what do you mean?"

"i don't believe you."