''𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑻 𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑽𝑬٫٫

𝖽𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾

𝗁𝖺𝗁𝖺𝗁𝖺𝗁 𝗂𝗆 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌

𝗦𝗛𝗘 woke up; barely recalling the events that happened during the night. She got out of the comfortable bed after stretching٫ going to the kitchen.

There٫ she saw Loki scrolling on his phone.
She stared at him٫ shyly admiring him as the golden morning light shone on him delicately.

She almost wanted to giggle٫ go towards him and hug him from how pretty he looked in this exact position ٫ exact point of view.

Funny thing is٫ he knew she was staring at him with such admire and such affection in her eyes٫ the eyes he likes looking at.

She shook her head and was slightly embarrassed to look at him any longer٫ so she turned around and went back to her room.

She felt a shiver slide down her spine as she stepped foot٫ feeling nervous again as she stopped on the exact spot where she got photographed.

The exact spot where she was terrified of who was behind the camera- could it be someone she knows٫ someone she trusts٫ someone she talks to?

Could it just be a mere stranger that decided to photograph a innocent college student who is starting to hate being around such people?

Why did she fear so many people like she isn't surrounded by people 24/7? Isn't she always surrounded by people she trusts٫ talks to٫ and enjoys hanging out with?

She doesn't know٫ she never does٫ really. She just wants college to finish already. She cant handle all the pressure of being around so many people٫ being stuck with work because of skipping a day or two in the past- its too hard on her.

After all٫ she's just one lone person. She can barely find a reason to breathe air instead of suffocating and letting the world decide what will happen٫ how can she deal with such work?

She knows college isn't just games and shit٫ but she just wants a break sometimes. Its hard to get out of bed sometimes٫ she just wants to rot away slowly.

She shook her head-- why was she just standing like a deer in headlights on one singular spot? She could just be doing something more productive.
Or maybe٫ she just doesn't feel like it.

Why doesn't she want to roam around anymore? Why doesn't she want to get up and start her day anymore? Why does she only want to stay in her bed.

There's only one answer that could come out of her thick head٫
'Maybe im just tired.'

She left the dorm after getting changed and somehow finding the willpower to do makeup and hair٫ going to her first class.

She walked down the hall with a٫ 'Just make it to friday' mindset٫ not caring about anything else. Not anymore.

What was there to care about? She's stalked by probably her friend٫ she's constantly with someone٫ never having time for herself٫ and constantly bothered by work.

She didnt want to be alone٫ though. She didn't want to be bored either.
Why cant life just go her way for once?

She hated life٫ she doesn't want friends٫ she doesn't want to move around٫ she just wants to rot in her bed for a week and want to disappear.

She doesn't like socializing a lot٫ not anymore.
Why was she wanting so many people to surround her with when she cant keep up?
Did she think she could actually keep up?
Stupid٫ stupid [reader].

Once she entered the class٫ 'Feel Better' by Penelope Scott played in her (earphones/headphones/airpods). She started liking music like Penelope Scott٫ its calming to listen to songs that expresses what she feels.

She feels annoyed sometimes٫ upset and overwhelmed.
She wants to date someone and feel true affection instead of fearing that she would be alone forever.

She doesn't want to be desperate though٫ she wants to snag the right one for her. The opposite of her that likes her just as she likes them.

Maybe she's just tired
Maybe she's just lonely.
Maybe she's just touch starved.
It doesn't matter to her anymore.
It wont ever matter
Not anymore.

As she sat down comfortably٫ she noticed how Isagi and Bachira skipped this class. She exhaled٫ she just wishes the day could fly by so she can find comfort in music.

She wants to scream٫ cry٫ throw a fit٫ and yet she wont.
So much emotions stream through her like a car in a race٫ at extreme speeds.

She wants to feel normal.
Neutral٫ at peace.
Just for a day٫
Just for a while.
Cant she feel normal?

𝗌𝗈 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗒/𝗇 𝗆𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌

𝗂𝖽𝗄 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌 𝖨𝗆 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝖽𝖾 𝗋𝗇