THE CAPTURED GIRL

Choose between Us

I felt really disheartened. Maybe Ikah and I are not meant to be.
The photos showed ikah and his company last night. It just happened that the day he was supposed to come to my place, after telling me to wait, he went out with his " girls " instead.

There were over 5 photos sent to me. First 2 were selfies taken by ikah himself using becky's phone. He was sitted next to the bar counter. There was also a photo of him and Becky hugging each other ,  then one where they were kissing and another one, they were laughing happily.  I guess they enjoyed the night. The last photo ..Becky was sitted on Ikah's laps , with Ikah's arms wrapped tightly around her wrist.
They had a group of friends.  Each having a girl. And I guess Ikah's girl that night was Becky.

Their expressions clearly showed how happy and complete they were. There was no need for intrusion as it would never be welcomed. And that's what I thought at that time..

You see people think , it's sweeter when you love the person and they love you back. That love gets a meaning when there's a mutual feeling of love between the two.
But nothing hurts more than when the two people who love each other, have different tastes and preferences .And that is what is happening to me and Ikay.

To make matters worse,it seems I am the one hurting more. Ikay is enjoying.  He will come to  me and tell me he loves me. The next moment , he's out there enjoying and kissing his girlfriend Becky.  Some thing..I..find hard to take in.

I decided not to be at the loosing end again. Ikah well knows that Becky and I are no friends. In fact we are bitterest foes. But he ignored all this information.  Even when I told him about it, he just laughed it off,
As if it doesn't matter.My feelings hurt every now and then by his inconsiderate and carefree life.
Since its like this, I guess I need to make changes.

My mind was busy thinking, that I didn't notice that the bus had stopped.  I looked around only to see it empty. With the bus driver and the conductor sitted eating their breakfast.

     "Are you okay young girl?" The bus driver asked.

    "  You seemed troubled and we drove you straight to school.  Come on,  run before you are late for classes"

  " Ooh..thank you" I said as I picked my bag and rushed out of the bus only to be brought on halt by the conductor's voice

      " Little girl, what ever it is , make decisions that will make you happy.  Life is too short" He shouted. I waved at him and ran off to the college.

    " Make decisions that will make you happy"

The conductor's words kept ringing in my ears as I walked to class.
But what decisions will make me happy? I asked myself . Having ikah away or being with ikah. The thought of not being with ikah hurt me a little . But I also knew that being with him, one of us will need to change. Either he changes for me or I change for him.

Much as I would be glad to change for ikah. I found his relationship with Rabecca unacceptable to me.  That would be so much for me to tolerate . There fore he needs to change for me. Not that I was being selfish but that would be a heavy burden for me to carry in a relationship.

     Lost in my thoughts,  I moved to  the direction of our lecture room. I had made a relationship decision and that was final. I just hoped that it would be that easy. I was a few metres away from my lecture room when I felt some one tap on my shoulder. The tap got me out of my thoughts
It caught me unguarded that my body shook a little. 

    "  Hey. I have been calling you but you seemed far" I turned around only to be greeted by the face I didn't want to see now. Ikah was standing infront me, dressed smartly as usual in his light blue suit. His eyes looked haggard. Maybe he worked alot last night and slept late. I thought. I silently looked at him and couldn't help but think about the photo where he was kissing Rabecca.

   My eyes subconsciously looked at his lips. The lips though seemed in their usual sense. There was slight paleness on them.

          "Samantha?" Ikah called my name

        "What, what do you want?" As I looked at ikah , with the photos I received in my mind, I felt anger surge into my being. I felt  kicking or even slapping him for playing with my feelings. 
          
           "Something came up last night , and...I couldn't make it." He stated.
        
          " I wish I had enough time to listen to you Ikah . But one thing I know right now is that we .are. done and I have classes.
If you will excuse me now."  I said as I passed by him and walked away. Looking at him itself was making me sad and angry.
        
         " Samantha,  you need to hear me out first." He pleaded.  I continued moving without stopping.  He needs to be taught a lesson. I guess my silence annoyed him too for he shouted at me something we will both regret.
        
      "  You can not end something that hasn't started "  He shouted angrily at me.

   This statement made me stop in my tracks. I felt so hurt.  I felt my eyes tearing . But I knew one thing. I couldn't cry infront of him. I turned around after collecting my emotions.  He was still standing there, silently looking at me. His eyes seemed to be looking for something in my eyes. Maybe hurt, disappointment or anger. But he recieved none. He didn't deserve to know how I was feeling.
 
        "  Okay ." I said and walked away
        " Samantha" I heard him call me softly,  as if pleading for me to turn around but I didn't. I walked away resolutely.  He's right. We can't talk about what is not there. Maybe I read alot from yesterday's encounter. Or maybe I was the only serious one in this so called relationship.

    I felt very sad . Very sad .And guess what, i couldn't blame anyone else but me for being stupid. I took a deter from the direction of my class to the library  for I needed a quiet place.
   

     

     In the library,  I sat on the table in the corner. It was abit dark in that corner. I wanted to be alone. Without any person disturbing me.
I put my head on the table ,with my face facing down on the floor and tears started flowing.  I couldn't stop crying.  I was feeling very sad. How can ikah do this to me? Hurting me again and again without any remorse.
    
       My phone rang and I picked it up to see who was calling.  It was my seat mate asking if I was coming for class.  I cut off the call and sent her a message that i was not feeling well and thus couldn't attend.
I  stayed on the library table as I cried my heart out. I needed this. I needed to cry it all out.I just hoped I would feel better after crying.
         I was still lying on the table when i felt some one sit opposite my seat .

      "Look who we have here!" I lifted my head up and Rabecca and other girls, who I recognised their faces were standing there looking at me with scornful and mocking eyes.
        
       " Little girl, why are you crying,  hmmm...ssshh..have you been abandoned..oh that was so soon.." Rabecca stated as the rest of her friends burst out and laughed.
     
      "She thought Ikah would love her..pitiful thing..I feel sorry for you. " one of the friends stated.
      
    "  You are just like any other his play things. He gets tired with you, you join the group of Ikah's once used girls" The other girl stated too.

     Rabecca stood up and moved to my side. She  looked at me as she smiled mischievously. 
       
     " Samantha,  I have warned you several times, that ikah can only be mine. But what did you do , you didn't listen. You continued seducing him. But hahaha. He stayed with me girl..up to now and will ever...you hear that" Becky said as she held and tossed my chin from side to side.

I couldn't fight them much as I wanted to do so. I didn't want to attract the other students attention.  And besides,  I had no reason to fight for him.
     
        " Stay away from Ikah. Understood?" One of Becky's friends said as she pointed a finger at me.
     
    " Understood " I retorted.
     The library attendant came to the corner and asked if anything was wrong. 
Becky quickly said no..and they left leaving me alone in my corner to treat my anger and any other  feelings I had. I needed that too.