I can do it with a broken heart~LN

Chapter Five

The week in Miami had gone far too quickly, Lando had kept her busy as promised and she'd all but abandoned any attempts to write anything hoping to clear her head and start fresh. Instead she'd hung around at the track, gone for a run with him every day, played padel with him and some of the other drivers and taken the opportunity to relax.

As Sunday approached though, the anxiety of knowing she had to get back on a flight to Europe and continue her tour had slowly settled back over her. She knew she should be looking forward to if, enjoying every moment of what was quite likely the peak of her career, but it just brought with it a sense of dread.

The break up with Joe had been horrific and there was so much left unsaid between the two of them, largely because she'd had to fly off and continue on her tour before they'd even finished arguing. He'd announced that their relationship was over minutes before she had to go on stage, and by the time the show was over he'd already disappeared. She couldn't go looking for him because she had a flight to catch and he'd simply ignored her calls and messages for weeks. She'd tried to postphone the shows so she could talk to him properly but the label wouldn't have it. They stood to make millions off the tour and while she'd been pleading for a couple of weeks to get herself together they'd denied it and continued to add more dates to the end of it making it even longer.

So every night, she put on a brave face and plastered that grin on her face and got on stage and danced and sung in front of thousands of people, singing the songs she'd written about the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with and still didn't really understand why he'd decided they weren't going to. How was it possible after six years to just decide you didn't love someone anymore?

The first few shows after the breakup she'd been on the verge of tears the entire time, barely holding it together enough to get the words out. Cassie had been a nervous wreck for the entire duration of the show, pacing back and forth in a way that suggested she was ready to come and yank her off the stage at the first sign of a wobble. But she'd made it through just about, then she'd gone back to her hotel room and sat on the floor of the shower and cried for the entire night. And carried on repeating the process for months on end. She didn't go out and do anything. She just slept and performed, trying her hardest to switch her brain off inbetween so her thoughts didn't consume her.

It had been a little bit easier in Miami to forget about the whole thing, just ignore the thoughts that made her feel like screaming. Lando had been surprisingly good company and kept her distracted, but he was going off his separate way after this race and it was going to be just her and her thoughts again.

It was probably that realisation which had led to her ordering quite so many shots in the club after the race. Lando hadn't really wanted to go, suggesting they go and get dinner just the two of them, but she'd insisted. She needed to switch her brain off and alcohol and loud music would do the job. The shots were definitely a bad idea, but she'd continued to knock them back one after the other.

"Are you okay?" Lando asked, his voice low in her ear as he approached her at the bar, waiting for another drink.

"Do you want one?" She asked, picking up the shot glass from the bar and throwing it back.

He quickly shook his head. "Hannah, I think you've probably had enough."

"I'm fine." She grabbed the second shot and threw that back too before he could stop her. That forced grin she wore on stage was back planted firmly on her face and it made his heart sink. To everyone else she probably looked like she was having a great time, but he'd got to know her well enough to know that it didn't reach her eyes. She looked exhausted and like she might burst into tears any minute.