On The Edge Of Darkness

on the edge of darkness-15

Post the lunch having a small nap in knott's room, kongpob playing with his phone he heard a knock on door when he opened the door he find no human he look around and down to find a large brown box which is tapped neatly with a card over the box

he picked up reading the label mentioning his name on top of the box to open, once again a long look to entire flat he find no clue, he carried the box inside the room with a sense of thought may be arthit must be the reason, may be? He smiled carefully placing the box on the bed and gets a scissor to open when he opens the box he gasped to see a new set of clothes it was an lemon yellow hoodie with a rainbow logo being small and cute and a blue jean, a small pocket like bag which he untied it! he was lost in shock it was a white Armani brief with blue band he blushed when he looks around and walks out form the room he searches for Arthit he cannot find him anywhere. He gets a message form Arthit "your clothes, get ready for evening date, hope the size fits you"

kongpob rushed back to room and gauzes the clothes box his fingers are trembling as if he touch the cloth it will tare he puffed his cheeks they were new clothes which he never buy for himself, which he could never afford, he is feeling guilty to receive them because in the end of the day he is ready to be apart from Arthit which he don't want to do it!

Being sad at heart he sit to bed and cuddled his knees closer to his chest and looks to the closed window, no! he don't want to leave Arthit he is trying to stay not for Arthit showering him with gifts but the love Arthit holds for him, even after many long years, the boding between them did not fade away, just like him Arthit beholding onto their love and he gets a teary smile but right then he is scared to open up, he don't want to be back to those days where he will left alone and be scared in counting days to live he don't choose to bother Arthit he don't want Arthit to suffer along with him! he is sick! He is not any good enough for Arthit

if he choose to leave Arthit side, Arthit will get a better person more better than him who can take care of the hard working surgeon.

tears streams down he hastily rubs his cheeks, pulling the shirt collar closer to his nostrils he breaths and hugs the shirt close to him, feeling Arthit closer to him, the shirt smells like Arthit and warms him up, he is sobbing up he is getting scared he curled up on bed and letting the tears fall while he hug himself feeling Arthit spooning form behind he closed his eyes letting the tears fall down, what should he do? should he give up! No he cannot! Then how to ease his feelings, he wants Arthit? Yes, he want! No doubt! Yet what is stopping him? Afraid and scared that past will haunt him? Yes he is, he rubbed his unease in chest which is tightening not letting him to breath, why he is suffocating at the thought of leaving Arthit! Should not he be happy? No he never will be happy! But he don't want to spoil Arthit happiness too, Arthit can get over him and be happy with someone

Discerning over and over about his future with Arthit, how long he can keep Arthit happy? He is scared what if one day he leaves Arthit! He don't want Arthit to be left in pain

**

He cannot do this anymore, he will choose to get away from Arthit, It took time for him to get ready for his date, his first date holding the hoodie close to his naked chest he looks down to the one straight long scar and closed his eyes letting the tears fall. He quickly cleaned those tears and put on the hoodie

"..how much time do you need to!!!" the impatient yelling, kongpob chuckled taking a once last look to mirror he hurried his way to the door with thumping heart, he breathes in and out as he unlocks the door

Arthit stands to the opened door he keeps staring besides struggling to say a few words, he just keeps looking to kongpob being dressed up in light yellow colour hoodie and a fitting blue jean he looks like a cute lemon.