Decieve || Hyunlix

Part 17. News Channel

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ news channel ࿐ྂ

My eyes shot open and my torso flew upright with a raspy gasp. My entire body began shaking and my breathing became irregular in its pace. Choked, loud sobs began to come from the depths of my chest as my every sense of self became uncontrollable. All sounds, other than beating of my heart— that seemed to grow tauntingly louder— and wails that escaped with a sputter, was a muffle of static. It felt like nothing else existed and I was in another black abyss. That black abyss had an unsettling, villainous feeling to it. A feeling that only made me uneasy when I was there, despite it not being fully real.

I don't think I would ever feel that kind of paranoia in another setting again.

Trapped in my shaking body and the flashbacks of my best friend being mauled and smiling at me replaying at the speed of sixteenth notes, I didn't spare a second to see that Hyunjin had awaken the moment I shot up from the bed, which felt like four hours prior. It wasn't until he was whispering close to me that I was aware of someone else being here with me.

"Lix, honey, what's going on?" He softly, cautiously asked, but I stayed staring forward, clutching to my knees that I didn't even realized I pulled to my chest.
My tears weren't as severe anymore, more so, my fluctuating breaths and severely long periods I would go without taking one as I clawed at my arms and propped up knees.
The feeling of panic in my bones would only stay still, trapping my mind and presence in one spot, thinking of the same mantra or image over and over again.

He was alone. All by himself in that dark alleyway, with no one to give him a real goodbye. I could imagine his fear. Someone like Jisung always took charge, even if it scared him half to death. To him so frail, so hopeless— it was so unfamiliar, but it was real. He had accepted his fate and couldn't do anything to save himself. I could imagine the memories he thought of before he used his last breath. Did he think of me? Of our bond? Or maybe when he and Minho finally got together after months of admiring one another from afar? Or maybe his childhood and the friends he had? Did he think of Hyunjin?
It all became an agonizing mess of unorganized worry mixed with grievance. What he went through, it just wasn't fair. Why him? Why was it Jisung that had to take a brutal fate? Why did he have to go down that back road that night? He never goes down that road. Why did everything have to happen the way it did?

But now there's no point in questioning things any longer.

Because Jisung is dead.

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around the entirety of my frame and I was pulled to his chest. I could instantly feel a slight comfort by his aroma and warmth against me, but my state didn't falter much at all.
I felt my hands being grasped by his and squeezed to hold them still.
"Lixie, please, don't hurt yourself. You're okay." He'd whisper and continue to chant reassuring words and consoling phrases until I finally calmed down into another sobbing sesh.

"Shh, I'm here, Lix." His hands raked through my hair to soothe my nerves and ultimately cease my trembling. When I finally got ahold of reality and my surroundings, I inhaled a deep breath and looked around myself. I looked up at the male that held me so softly and looked into my teary eyes as I looked at his.

"Hyunjin.." My voice and lip quivered when I realized what I'd just put him through again.
He didn't see what I saw. He didn't make the discovery that I did.

"I'm here, Lix." He whispered to me with concern written over his face.

That was all it took to allow me to realize everything— how early it was, the dream I'd endured, Hyunjin next to me. And I broke again.
I buried my face into his chest and weeped for what felt like the fourteenth time in the last twenty-four hours. I heard him release a sigh and rub my back endearingly. What more could you really do in that kind of situation?