Another High School Romance

thirty

Double pink lines stared back at me.

"Oh my god." I breathed.

Was double lines positive or negative? In the anticipation of the moment, I couldn't remember. Crouching down, I dug in the bin before I pulled the instructions out, flipping them over to scan the bit about results. Double lines were positive.

"No." I whispered in disbelief, glancing down at my stomach. Dropping the instructions back in the bin, I stood up and turned to the side, lifting my shirt. I rubbed a palm over my stomach, deliberating. There was nothing there, nothing to show, except that there was. "Hi little one." I breathed as I fluttered my fingers against my lower stomach. "Hi."

I couldn't wait to tell Travis. I wanted to do it now, to call him, but he'd be busy with the scout and I couldn't do this over the phone. I'd have to wait, tell him when I got back. As much as I hated to wait, I knew I had to. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him for one weekend.

"You'll be our little secret for now okay?" I whispered to my stomach, staring at it for a long moment before dropping my shirt back down.

Grabbing my phone, I took a picture of the test and then tucked the test into my hands, leaving the bathroom. Making sure Austin was in the kitchen, I went down to my bedroom and hid the test away in the drawer of my nightstand. Then I grabbed my bag, took a breath, and tried to act like nothing was different. I wanted to tell Travis before I told anyone else, even though this would mean I had to keep it from Mom as well.

"Made you one too." Austin nudged a plate on the counter when I came down.

"Thanks, I'm starving." I sighed, picking up the sandwich and taking a bite. 

"So how is Mom?" My brother asked as we ate. I'd told him a little, but just that she's gotten sick, gotten better, and then done it all over again.

"She's good." I nodded. "I think she'll be able to move back home in a few weeks. They're just monitoring her at the moment, but she sounds so much better." Austin nodded along. "She missed you." I whispered. Mom barely spoke about Austin, but when she mentioned him, she got that faraway longing look in her eyes. He was her son, and she'd spent years without him. I could only imagine how happy she'd be to see him again.

"You'll think she'll be mad at me?"

"Why would she be mad at you?"

"Because I left and didn't look back. Because I believed everything Dad told me, just because I trusted him. Because I hated her and I hated you for no reason." My brother looked at me with tears in his eyes. "He's the one I hate. And I hate myself."

"No, Austin." I stood up, going around to where he stood and pulling him into a hug. "Don't. It's not your fault. You have to remember that you were a kid when he fed you those lies." Austin might blame himself, but I knew it wasn't his fault. It was our Dad's fault. Our Dad, who I no longer cared to see again. "Don't worry about the past, okay?" I said, pulling back to look at him. "You're here now, and Mom is going to be so happy to see you. She'll just be happy you're home."

Austin nodded, looking like he might cry. Hell, I might cry. But I just nodded back, rubbing his arm before I moved off.

We left, and spent most of the drive just talking like we'd been before. Learning each other again, filling in the gaps. When I turned off the car outside Mom's cottage, I turned to Austin. He still looked nervous.

"Want me to go in first?" I asked, and he nodded. "Okay. Come on."

I led Austin up the path and knocked on the door before taking my key and unlocking it. Mom knew I would let myself in, but I wanted to let her know that I was here. Austin and I took off our shoes as I closed the door behind us, glancing down the hallway. The living room light was on.