Y/N has finally read her dear departed Grandpa's letter and now has a new purpose in life! You move to your new home and meet the most beautiful woman you have ever seen... but she blows you off when you first meet.
You think that's the end of your...
When the hell did she ever come to the saloon, of all places?
Me and Elliot were talking when he decided to just kiss me. I didn't ask him to, but I didn't pull away either.
Why would I do such a stupid thing?
I need answers.
Y/N had made me feel uneasy, but not in a bad sort of way. I talked to Alex and word-vomited everything to him about the situation. Alex listened to me with the patience of a saint. He may be dumber than a sock of rocks sometimes, but he cares.
This was new territory. I had never had feelings for another woman. It had thrown me off my game and the flower dance didn't help either. Ugh. Me and her. Dancing. I was so soooo close to her. I could see the E/C in her eyes so clearly. It mesmerized me. Completely.
Before I knew it, our lips were centimeters apart.
My breathing came in faster and faster. I wanted so bad to just lean in the rest of the way and connect our lips. Seek the relief that I needed.
Nothing ever went my way, though.
Grouchy Lewis called an end to the dance before I could close the distance and we found ourselves backing away from each other.
Ever since then, my mind had been in overdrive. Thinking about Y/N. Thinking about how I actually like a woman. A woman! It didn't feel real, so I started spiraling. The spiraling led my brain into denial about what I felt.
Then I just so happened to run into Elliot on the beach. He was a good-looking man. If he didn't get me out of my funk, then no one could. My denial brain walked up to him, flirted with him, and set up a date at the saloon.
I should have known what I was doing was wrong when a sense of dread washed over me after our encounter.
But I was stupid. So soooo stupid.
I just- I just wanted to see if what I felt was real.
I... I knew I really messed up when I saw Y/N's face. The hurt and betrayal on her face made my stomach twisted in knots. We weren't together, but it was heading in that direction. I know for a fact that Y/N hadn't asked anyone on a date or had been talking to anyone like that.
I may have asked around just to see...
Whatever.
When Y/N decided she had enough of looking at us, she stormed out of the door. I tried to go after her, call her back so I could explain myself. I wanted- no, needed to. I desperately needed to because it felt like what we had was crumbling down all around me and it was my fault.
I had just made it to the door when the town drunk grabbed my arm. I wasn't expecting that, so I jumped in surprise.
"What the fu- what did you do?" Shane said with a fire in his eyes.
"I- I- I-" I stammered.
"Haley, you better say something other than 'I'. Y/N looked like she just lost everything. She had been fine when we were talking. It was when she looked at you and lover-boy over there that she started to look like someone had taken all the wind from her sails." Shane said angrily.
Why was Shane angry? He's never been like this before. Does- does he like Y/N? Are they a thing? He said they were talking-
I shook my head.
Freeing my arm from his grasp, I made my way to the door.
"I- I'm sorry. I g-gotta go." I stuttered, fleeing from my embarrassment.
And flee, I did. I ran like a bat out of hell. It might have been the fastest I had ever run. I ran all the way back home. I needed my comforts. I needed to think about something else. I needed to because if I didn't, then I would think about the consequences of my actions. The consequences being Y/N never wanting to speak to me ever again.
Never wanting to speak to me again... Never wanting to speak to me again.Never wanting to speak to me again.Never wanting to speak to me again.Never wanting to speak to me again.Never wanting to speak to me again.
Never.
Wanting.
To.
Speak.
To.
Me.
Again.
Oh god...
That one thought had me racing through the door of my house, slamming my bedroom door shut, and falling to the floor in a fetal position, tears racing down my face. The awful thought wouldn't stop. My chest started to heave; I started hyperventilating while I cried ugly tears.
