Haley x Female Reader

Chapter 18

TW: Mention of self-harm

Awful.

You felt awful.

Why did your heart have to feel like this?

Why do you keep falling into the same situation?

Did you not torture yourself enough the last time?

Questions. All you had were questions, but no answers. If you didn't have them before, then why the heck would you have them now?

It hurt.

It hurt really really bad.

Seeing the woman you love with a man the first time was heartbreaking... Seeing it a second time? It was soul-rending. There was nothing to do but cry. You came back from it the first time, but you didn't know if you could do it a second time.

You should have known.

Why would a gorgeous woman like that go for someone- someone like you?

It didn't make sense, but you were happy that you had her attention. Sure, Haley was mean at first. Sure, she belittled you and made fun of your clothes. But you thought you saw something worth chasing. Underneath the rough exterior was a diamond. A passionate, down-to-earth, pink cake loving woman who instantly captured your heart.

Now that same heart was shattered into a million teeny tiny... pieces and you didn't know how to put them back together.

So, what did you do after all the crying?

You worked.

What else were you supposed to do?

The farm was the whole reason you came back to Pelican Town. You lost sight of that. Chasing after something that was never meant to be knocked you off your course. The farm was your whole livelihood.

It was time you started acting like it was.

You worked on the farm, avoided people, and only went into town when it was absolutely necessary. You didn't want to avoid the people you had come to call friends, but this is how you were. When your feelings became too much to handle, you started to recede into yourself. You wanted to be where you felt the saftest. You guessed it was some type of protective behavior that your body did when you got this way.

But that was a lie you told yourself.

It was self-destructive behavior.

That's what it really was.

You still had the scars on your upper thigh from highschool. It hadn't gotten that bad. Yet. You thought it might be only a matter of time, though. Or maybe not. Cutting gave you a sense of self awareness. It cut through the numbness that you felt back then. That changed when you visited your Grandpa and you had broken down to him about what you were doing. You feared his disproval, but he only showed you kindness.

You still remember what he said. It was just words, but you felt validated by them.

'You are not your past.' Granpa said while pointing to your scars. 'You are the warrior who will rise above it to become the example of someone who didn't just survive but thrived in creating the person you will be proud of.'

After those words, Grandpa beckoned me to follow him. Both of us walked toward his garage. You wondered why he was taking you there and were confused when you finally got there. He had converted it into a home gym.