Ch.15

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TW: suicide. + survivors guilt.

"He's here pretty bad" I looked at them "what can we do?" I asked worried.

"Thomas" I said looking at him "we have to help him"

Newt looked at me worried along with Thomas.

Winston continued to gasp for breath. "Winston can you hear me? It's okay" Newt spoke.

Somehow we managed to make a stretcher and put him on it.

Frypan and Minho carried him.
I hoped he would be okay.

I didn't talk to Winston much in the glade but he seemed really sweet. I was slowly regretting not doing so. I should've talked to him. I should've done more....

I looked at the bridge we were at now "Thomas" "grab his leg"

"I got him I got him" Thomas carried him we all took turns helping.

The wind soon picked up the dirt and sand I quickly made my scarf go around my head to cover it and try my best to keep it out of my eyesight.
"We gotta find shelter!" I yelled.

"There!" I pointed to a small little area that seemed like a good spot.

All of us continued to walk soon enough the wind stopped blowing I gasped feeling like I could breathe again.

I sat by Winston watching him sleep.

Frypan pored all the sand out from his shoe.

I looked over at Thomas in the distance debating about going to talk to him but Travis beat me too it.

They seemed pretty intense talking together. I wonder what the conversation was about "How's it looking?!" Newt shouted.

"It's a little further" I leaned my head on Minho exhausted he chuckled patting my head.

I smiled sadly up at Minho he was like an older brother to me by this point.
Newt looks back at me and Minho "that's not very convincing"

I watched the two talk and they seemed to be arguing. Like Thomas could punch Travis at any moment. I stood up about to head over to the two but I took a glance at Winston making sure he was okay, when I noticed he had a gun and shot it. "WINSTON!" I screamed.

"HEY GUYS!" Newt shouts. "get down here!"
"Winston what are you doing man?" Frypan yells.

"Give me that!" I shouted taking it away from him.
"What happened?!" Thomas asks.

"I don't know he just woke up and grabbed the gun" Frypan says.
Winston was gasping for breath, "Winston are you okay?"

Winston threw up making me scrunch my nose.

He laid on his back, "it's growing" he said he pulled his shirt up.

"Oh...." I whispered I turned away feeling like I was going to vomit myself.

"Inside me" he whimpered.

I held the gun in my hands trembling. Winston looked at me "I'm not going to make it."

Winston held his hand out to me. "Please." He whispered.

My hands were shaking now as I shook my head slightly, I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
With the back of my throat closing up.

"Don't let me turn into one of them." He begged while whimpering.

"Please." I held the gun tightly in my hand shaking my head I didn't want him to die like this. There has to be another way. I felt everyone's eyes on me like they also didn't know what to do.

It's all my fault. I should've been close friends with him when I had the chance. I should've been with Winston to stop all this.
I- I should've done more.....

Newt came over to me slowly, about to take the gun from me but I stopped him "McKenna." He whispered looking at me I shook my head my lips trembling.

A few tears slipped, "N-no." I whispered.

"Please" Winston begged.

Newt slowly took it from me going over to Winston.
"Wait, Newt." Thomas said stepping forward.

Newt stood above Winston looking at him.
He slowly bent down handing his friend the gun.

"Thank you." He whispered.

He looked at me "I'm sorry" he said whimpering.

"I'm sorry too" I said back putting a hand through my hair as I felt my eyes tearing up more.

"Now get outta here." Winston said.

"Goodbye Winston." Newt said.

Newt started to walk away with all of us slowly following him.

I stood there looking at him "it's okay." He whispered "I'm sorry" whimpered.
"It's okay." He repeated looking at me.

A few tears slipped I felt myself quietly sobbing as I walked.
"McKenna" I turned around.

"Take care of them." He whispered.

I nodded slowly walking away. "I'm sorry." I whispered once again.

All of us walked in a line I felt a few tears slip as I sobbed quietly.

I barely made it up to everyone before I heard a gunshot.

A/n: anyone confused pretty much she wasn't close to a lot of the gladers and wished she done something different with her past self. Along with wishing it was herself instead of Winston.

Also! if you ever feel this way suicidal or Survivors guilt from trauma don't be afraid to get help! Everyone's here to help you! We all love and care for you!

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