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Chapter 7- Baby Steps

Jennifer's POV

"....because you are straight."

I don't know what I want to do, my mind says one thing and my body says another and this time, my body overpowered my mind. I lean over the center console and I kiss Leah.

"See, this is what I'm talking about. These little bs games that you're playing. They're not fun for me Jennifer, because it's becoming real for me. It's not a game when my emotions get involved." She says and looks at me. "Can you just shut up and kiss me?" I say and bite my lip. She kisses me again and we make-out for a few minutes.

"Jennifer, I can't do this. I can't get hurt by you." Leah whispers to me. "Please tell me what you're doing. What are you thinking?" She asks. "I lied to myself. I let myself think that I do want to be with Bradley when I really don't. It doesn't click Leah. But I need something. I need affection and you give that to me... I'm not gay. I've never even had any experiences with another woman...." I say to her. "Then how would you know, Jennifer?" She whispers and touches my face.

"What are you proposing to me right now?" I ask her. "Let me show you what could happen..." She says and looks down at my lips and places get hand on my hip. "Leah , I can't do that..." I say and turn my head. She grabs my chin and makes me look at her. "You could if you want to... but I think you're just scared." She says. After a small pause she asks me a question. "What are you scared of?"

"That you'll like it? That you'll like me?" She asks. I look at her and I don't know what to say. I kiss her again and inbetween the kisses I say, "I - am- not gay." I feel her smile as I kiss her. "If you're not gay, then why are you sitting here kissing me? And I also know that you're considering letting me show you what's possible.... Last time I checked a straight girl wouldn't even think about going to bed with another girl." she says. I bite my lip, "I'm not ready for that. Baby steps." I say to her and peck her lips again.

"Jennifer, the last thing I need right now is false hope. So, if you are playing your games then I need you to stop." Leah says to me. "I'm not playing a game. I just don't know what I'm doing right now... I've never thought about the possibility of being a lesbian." I say to her and sit back in my seat. "So I have a question that I need you to answer honestly...." she says. "Do you have feelings for me that go deeper than just a physical attraction? Yes or No?" She pauses and look at me. "I think so... I mean, yeah? Maybe." I say back to her. "Alright." She says and finally, after 20 minutes of sitting- she starts her SUV and she drives me back to my condo.

She stops out front and I look at her before I get out. "Leah, I'm sorry for playing games with you. I'm just confused. I don't know what I want and I don't know what I am...." I say, around eye contact with her. "Listen, just take a second to stop and think about what makes you happy. And if you ever wanna talk about anything you can call me and I'll listen to you..." she says and puts her hand on my leg. "Thank you. I'll see you later." I smile as I climb out of her car and close the door. I walk inside and she pulls off.

I feel weird. I've never had to question my sexuality before. But this girl has come along and she opened my eyes. I didn't know it was possible for me to feel this way about another female. But I do feel something. I can't put my finger on exactly what it is but something is definitely there and I'm curious. I wanna see what she has to offer to me.

Leah's POV

I do believe Jennifer when she tells me she's not trying to play games. And I hope that she figures out what she really wants and I hope that her decision has a positive outcome for both of us.....

-

It's Saturday morning and Jennifer and I are supposed to be hanging out today. I get up and get dressed and then I call Jennifer.

"Hey, I'm ready. You want me to come over?" I ask her. "Yeah, sure." She responds.

A short time later I am standing at her front door waiting to be let inside. She opens the door and smiles. "Hey." She says and gives me a hug. "Hi." I say back. "I'm almost ready... just come upstairs with me." she says. I follow her through her enormous condo and into her bedroom. She stands in the bathroom straightening her hair while I sit on her bed.

"Where exactly are we going?" I ask her. "I need some new shoes." she says. "I highly doubt that...." I tease her. "What?! No! I do!" She laughs. "Bull." "Shut up." I stand up and walk over to her closet and open it. Every single shelf is filled. "Jennifer!" I giggle. She runs over and closes the closer door. "Shh, you didn't see that." she smiles. "Holy shit, that's a lot of shoes." I say and force my way back inside. She laughs and leans against the doorframe. "I want new Louboutin booties." Jennifer says and crosses her arms. "you have like 3 pair sitting right here!" I say and point. "I need 4 then." she pouts her lips out. I shake my head and walk back over towards her.

"You are ridiculous." I say. "Is that bad?" She asks and steps a little closer to me. "I don't know... is it?" I ask her. "Mmm, in your case probably not because I do things like this." She says and kisses me tenderly. "Then please, continue being ridiculous." I smile, "go get ready!" I laugh. She goes into the bathroom and closes the door. When she comes back out she's dressed and looking gorgeous.

"I'm convinced that there is never a time that you don't look amazing." I say and look at her as she walks towards me. "You haven't seen me when I first wake up..." she says and leans in front of me, her face and breasts all up in my bubble, teasing me. She grabs her phone and stands up, "shall we?" She giggles. "You are mean." I say and give her a look. "No I'm not." "Yes, you're a tease too. I should have never let you know that you were as attractive as you are because now you think you can just do whatever and get away with it." I laugh. "No, I would never." she says sarcastically. "You're also a liar." I say to her and continue to step closer to her.

"Me? A liar?" She grins. "Yes, you." I smile at her, staring at her lips. "What would I lie about?" She questions. "I don't know...you tell me." I say. She gives me a look and then steps off to the side, leaving me hanging once again.

Jennifer's POV

We're at the mall, walking around, shopping, talking. Just enjoying the day. "Let go in there." I say and point to a store. "Okay." she says back to me. We enter the store and I walk around, trying to find something I like and she trails behind me. I find a short little dress with long sleeves and absolutely fall in love with it. I then find some pumps to match it and I go into the dressing room and try it on.

"I like this a lot." I say through the curtain. "Show me." Leah says back to me. I come out and do a little spin. "Damn, I mean- you look sexy." she says and let's her eyes wander all over my body. "Thank you...." I grin and go back in and close the curtain. I undress myself and put my clothes back on and we go and I pay for the dress and shoes.

"How did you just-" she stutters. "What?" "You just dropped $800 for a dress and some shoes!" She snaps. "It wasn't just a dress and shoes, Leah. It was a cute dress and cute shoes." I laugh. "You are absolutely insane Jennifer." she tells me as we walk. "I'm starving. Let's head towards the food court." Leah says. "I'll follow you." I smile.

We get to the food court and we both get pizza. "Tell me something I don't know about you." Leah says to me. I smile as I shove pizza into my mouth, "Pizza is my favorite food." Leah laughs at me and I feel her leg touch mine underneath the table. "If I ever go to far and make you uncomfortable, you'll tell me right?" She asks me. "Yes, I will." I smile. She grins at me and we finish eating lunch.

I like this. I like this speed that we are taking and I like where I'm at right now, despite still being a little bit confused.... I feel happy.