Rebel (Civil War Period)

Chapter 10..

2nd August 1863

It seems that Marianne is very happy still in her marriage. Officer Hudson is a kind man, I suppose, though the mere thought of me marrying such a man is horrid. He is soft and dull, and not overly ambitious or smart. Unlike my love; he had been general of a whole army within no time, and at such a young age. He was gentle, yes, but his scars told different stories. Jasper was powerful and influential, and he could win people for himself all too easily. Somehow he always knew what they wanted to hear, he always knew what they felt and could make them work for him without them even noticing... It's simply amazing.

Anyhow, my sister is happy - her talk of honeymoon and such might have ceased, but has been replaced by the talk of babies. Lord, will it ever stop?

...§...

5th September 1863

I had been so oblivious. I had believed myself untouchable by such banal but brutal matters such as pregnancy. I had loved Jasper without second thought - and here I now am. Unmarried. Pregnant.

...§...

6th September 1863

I have calmed down enough to think more clearly: I am pregnant, pregnant of the Confederate's general -furthermore, I am not married.

A possibility would be, of course, that my parents simply arrange a marriage for me immediately - but I would not love that man, whoever it might be. And who would agree to marry a woman who is pregnant in the third month? Even me being the general's daughter would not help there.

I would not give up. I will have to tell my parents, I will have to bear shame and reproach, maybe I will even be expelled from this family - but I would not get rid of Jasper's child.

...§...

Georgiana's P.O.V.

"You are pregnant?" My mother screeched and rushed to my side. Father turned around abruptly, his face twisted in anger, and my sisters and my brother looked at me in shock. I had been so lucky as to find them all present in the salon when I had come down to make the inevitable confession.

"How, Georgiana?"

"How could you be so stupid!" My father thundered, and I thought his question was a lot better than Mother's - how I had gotten pregnant was easy to explain.

Marianne and Susannah stared at me wide-eyed, with their pink-lipped mouths standing wide open. Before I even had the chance to say something, my mother, for once, prove herself valuable: "How long, dear?"

"Two months."

She clasped her hands before her mouth. "Had it been on Marianne's wedding day? When the drunken Confederates came into the city?"

There had been Confederates in the city then? I had only known of one... I shrugged, not knowing what to say. I could never bring the word "rape" from my throat, since I would suffocate on the lie first. It hadn't been rape - it had been my choice, and I had wanted it.

"Oh, my poor darling - can you remember anything?"

I kept my silence. It had served me well so far, better than speaking would have done.

"My poor child!" Mother exclaimed, and I realized only now that she had paved me the way out of a scandal. "Those damn Confederates don't stay away from anything! They're absolutely shameless! Richard, you can't blame our daughter for something she had no power over!" Who would have ever thought my mother would ever be of any use to me? That she was as clever as combining several facts, even though not true and not related? Furthermore, she had enabled me to not lie, but keep the truth. I wouldn't have to dishonour Jasper by claiming to having been raped. It would not have been just.