Rebel (Civil War Period)

Chapter 13..

I sat at the breakfast table, feeding Jonathan while holding two-months old Felicity on my arm, and believed that simple things could truly make you happy. I laughed at my son who smiled brightly at me while oatmeal was running down his chin. He had grown so fast, and was such a handsome young boy. He had auburn hair like me, and Jasper's silver eyes. Jonathan was a happy child, one that scarcely cried, and I wished Marianne would never return from her trip.

As for my daughter - I am sure she will soon have green eyes like mine, and she certainly had Jasper's blonde hair, and I dreaded the time when Charles would realize that they would not darken. Hopefully the war was over then, and I would be with Jasper already.

"Was anything in the mail, Katherine?"

"Yes, my lady, and the messenger also gave me this." She handed me a small paper. I put it aside for now and unsealed the letter first. It was from Officer Hudson.

Dear sister-in-law,

I am writing to you in great concern about my beloved wife. It is not physical unwellness that plagues her, but she seems restless and out of her mind lately. She cries out "treasonous whore" whenever we speak of you, and has wild moments when she does not seem to be herself, and she claims to see "Confederate bastards" everywhere. Marianne, who has always been such a gentle lady, seems almost hysterical lately.

I am quite worried about her. Is this a new symptom, or is it a phase that will pass? Is it a mere aftermath of the pregnancy?

Something else is on my mind, and I am ashamed to tell you so; Marianne does not conceive. It has almost been a year since Jonathan's birth! I am inexperienced with women's matters, and I cannot talk with Marianne sensibly these days, so I turn to you in search of help.

Sincerely,

Jacob Hudson

I put the letter down numbly. Not only was he slowly growing suspicious - it was only a matter of time when he started to wonder about Marianne's sudden infertility - but also was my sister going insane. She was talking madly, and it was all my fault. I saw my once so proud and honourable family crumbling together.

William had begun drinking after my ill-suited marriage - I think he suspects that I had been pregnant when I married - Marianne is a madwoman and Susannah is ruining her reputation by all her flirts with the officers. She cannot bear that I, always having been the unimpressive of the three of us, the one least suited for a marriage, is married before her, and it despaired her that nobody asked for her hand in marriage. As for me - I am a Confederate's wife and have two children with him, two children that nobody knows about.

I had destroyed my family, I had pushed my family into the abyss. I had wrecked the family that I loved, had taken all their hopes and perspectives from them only so I would be with Jasper. What was worst of all was that I considered it worth it.

I decided to answer Officer Hudson later and unfolded the small piece of paper. My heart missed a beat: I need to see you. Does eleven o'clock tonight suit you? You know where.

Jasper was back in town! I was so glad, especially since Charles would be away the whole night. Katherine could be trusted with the children.

"Good news, Ma'am?"

"In a way." I smiled, the tragedy of Marianne almost forgotten at the prospect of meeting Jasper. "Katherine, dear, would you mind taking the children tonight? I have something to take care of."

"I will certainly, with the greatest pleasure."

"I thank you, Katherine."

Only hours and I would be with Jasper again. The door swinging open destroyed my joy temporarily. "Katherine, take the kids. Georgiana, you come with me."