Rebel (Civil War Period)

Chapter 11..

"Congratulations, my lady." The midwife smiled at me and came towards me, holding my baby. I was so exhausted I could barely even lift my head, but I struggled to sit up in bed. Reaching out for my child, the midwife put it into my arms with the words: "A beautiful baby boy."

I had never felt worse than in this moment, exhausted, weak and suffering, but yet this had to be the best moment of my life: I held my son in my arms. His tiny body seemed like a miracle to me, and I smiled blissfully. How I wished I could share this joy with his father....

"How will you name him, ma'am?"

I would like to call him Jasper, but that was sadly impossible.... then I suddenly remembered. "Jonathan." I whispered, caressing my baby's forehead. It was the name of Jasper's father. For me, the child would always be Jonathan Jasper Whitlock....

The midwife smiled gently. "You are both tired, Ma'am. Rest. I will tell your sister the great news."

I sincerely doubted that Marianne would see the news of the birth as great.

...§...

30th March 1864

I still cannot believe that Jonathan is truly my son - he is such a miracle! I love him with all my heart, and nothing do I dread more than the day he will be Marianne's. That day will be all too soon: Next week we are going home again, to Officer Hudson, who is keen on seeing his alleged son - I am not sure whether he knows the truth - and to my family, who will now will probably have nothing but contemptuous looks for me.

And I will have nothing at all.

...§...

1st May 1864

I cannot bear seeing Marianne with my child! Every moment I want to take it from her and cry out that it is mine!

Of course, she only pretends to be the loving mother when there is anybody important watching, otherwise she hands Jonathan to me, telling me that I should take care of my bastard myself. No matter her hateful words, I am happy when I hold my son in my arms, and he smiles at me so often! It is clear by now that he has inherited my auburn hair, though I think that his eyes will turn into a bright silver... They already begin to lose their blue colour. Even if I should never see Jasper again, I will always have something of him.

...§...

Georgiana's P.O.V.

At dinner, where several officers and their families were invited, I overheard the men's conversation while all the women were busy fiddling over my son. It stung me too deeply to watch them, so I stayed as far away from them as I dared.

"There is supposed to be a new, strong army building in the South, one that almost seems invincible."

"Indeed, but the curious thing is that they only ever strike at night..."

I tried to listen intently, but was interrupted by Marianne's call. "Georgiana, would you put Jonathan to bed for me?"

It was not a request, but a command. I took my son from her and walked upstairs, away from the chattering women and the drinking men. Who would have thought my life would turn out like this?

I had had everything to hope for, but then I risked it all by meeting Jasper - and now everything I had was my baby. And not even he was mine alone.

I was just putting Jonathan to sleep when a servant appeared shyly at the door. "Excuse me, Ma'am. A letter has arrived for you."

At this time of the evening? I kissed my son on the forehead and closed the door behind me, taking the letter from her. "Thank you." I simply said, and as the servant disappeared again downstairs, I walked to my room to open it.

It was only a very short note, but enough to brighten my life.

Old Mill. Tonight. Sarah Smith.

Ten months it had been, and I would now finally see Jasper again!

I walked downstairs as quickly as I dared, then I claimed to be tired and to go to bed. After having wished everyone a good night, I disappeared in my room and locked the door and opened the window. Knowing I could break my leg in the best case, I jumped and softly landed on the ground below. It was not as deep down as it would have been anywhere else, since the house is built at a swift hill, and my room is facing it.

I exited through the back gate and was at the Old Mill within no time. It had been so easy. I had not even spent a second thought on whether I wanted to see Jasper again, or whether I should - of course I would, I had to.

"Sarah Smith." I said to the man behind the counter, who then handed me a key. I was surprised at how swiftly everything went, without the slightest problems.

I let the door fall into its lock behind me, and then I already was in Jasper's arms, passionately kissing him. "I missed you." I said breathlessly, and then kissed him again. It felt so good to have his arms around me, his warmth...

No P.O.V.

Georgiana looked different. She was still beautiful, no doubt, but she looked worse than unhappy and worn-out. Jasper wished he could somehow help her, but she would not say what was going on that exhausted her so. Merely her eyes beamed brightly.

As Jasper ran his hands over her naked body, he noticed that she also felt different. Her breasts were heavier, and her body softer than it used to be, although she was still slim.

But he did not bother about it now, for he longed to feel her again and to kiss her... Those ten months had been torturous, but there had been no way of getting to her earlier.

While Georgiana felt him move within her, she thought how she was doing the same mistake again. But what alternative was there? She needed to be with Jasper, otherwise she would most certainly die.

When they lay beside each other after four times of longing, desiring love making, Georgiana cuddled her exhausted, sweaty body closer to Jasper's. "Please don't make me wait another ten months, Jasper, please."

"I will not, my love." He said solemnly. Georgiana did not dare to believe that she had heard right; had he called her his love? It was too much to hope for, yet she was certain he had said it.

"Will the war ever be over?"

"I do not know, Georgiana darling. Should it ever be, though, I will come for you."

...§...

3rd May 1864

He has truly said that he would come for me! Imagine, all this time I had been so worried he might not love me then way I love him, but now I know that he does! Oh, I am so happy! It makes everything easier to bear.

What is best of all is that I will see him again next month. Next month! That is nothing against the years of waiting that I have already spent overall, but yet it seems so torturously long!

...§...

Georgiana's P.O.V.

"Gina, darling, it is time we find you a husband." Mother said with a resolute expression. "Women are safer these days when they are married.

I swallowed hard, discreetly clutching my belly, and found I could not fire back as I used to. I had to marry. Soon.

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