Rebel (Civil War Period)

Chapter 12..

30th May 1864

I should be so happy, since I will see Jasper today. I am, but there is a matter so grave that clouds my joy: I will have to marry Officer Lacey, and I will have to marry him next week.

For I am pregnant again, and there will be no other way than to marry now and then claim it an early birth. I choke and shudder disgustedly at the thought of laying with any other man than Jasper, but what can I possibly do? I want neither an other lover nor an other husband than Jasper, yet I will have to give up both desires in order to give our child, our second child, a future.

...§...

Georgiana's P.O.V.

"Jasper..." I gulped, feeling how tears and sobs came up my throat and eyes. He held me in his arms, just like last month, and I inwardly burned alive at what I would have to say now. "I will marry Officer Lacey next week."

He jumped up and glared at me, and I felt even worse than I already did.

"Why, Georgiana? And why do you only tell me now?"

"It's just been decided... I have to, Jasper."

"You never have to do anything you do not want." He hissed.

"No, this is different." I sobbed desperately. "I have no other way."

Suddenly, his eyes and expression turned tender again, and he returned to my side and took me back into his arms. "You don't want to marry him, do you?"

"Of course not! I only want you!" Silent tears fell onto his chest as he cradled me against him.

"Marry me, then."

I looked up at him in disbelief. To think that Jasper Whitlock would marry, would bind himself...! That he would really love me so... "But how-"

"We'll do it now, Georgiana. Nobody will have to know, I know some priests who owe me a favour. What matters is that we know, and that your marriage with Lacey will be invalid, as he will someday find out. So, Georgiana Ellwood, will you marry me?"

I must have lost my last remaining sense completely. "Yes, I do. There's nothing I would like more on this world."

...§...

1st June 1864

I am now officially (well, not publicly) Mrs Whitlock. Doesn't that sound so heavenly?

What's more, the child I'm carrying will not be a bastard, since I am married to his father. Now the only thing that blackens my joy is that I will have to marry, or pretend to, Officer Lacey. I could cry out in despair when I think of sleeping with him.

...§...

10th June 1864

It is done. I am "wedded and bedded" as the men phrase it, and I have never felt so dingy in my whole life.