Gifts - Chp 48

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We found sanctuary in Melbourne, Australia. The Roux family my father had written on a note in his jacket on the day of his death we found safety in. The journey was something of a nightmare, illness, death, misery and icicle cold followed us on our long journey. My hand held Lucille's, clasped tightly and desperately. We docked in Australia with undeniable luck; I never desire to travel again. The Roux family welcomed us with open arms, arms and also knowledge. I was educated, educated of who I am and who I am to be. I went to them seeking safety and protection, my Lucille had also shared her story to me on the boat and I vowed to protect my family with my last dying breath. It was a whole new world for us; a new country, a new history and discovery of who I was – there was fear instilled deep within me to my bones. I was draped in fear, anxiety kept me awake at night. It wasn't until a few months later in this foreign country that Lucille told me something; she told me I was to be a father and that's when I realised what I had been actually blessed with; a new beginning. ~ Jacob Iris.

"Here," a soft voice murmured as a mug of steaming warm tea was placed gently under my nose.

My hands reached up, threading my fingers through the handle and cupping the mug close to my chest. The warmth trickled through my fingers, thawing them it seemed. I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually felt warmth, content. My mind now seemed forever numb, fuzzy and obscure. I felt like I was detached, disconnected and I was floundering trying to rise above and find that whole feeling, that rightness.

Clutching the mug to my chest I held it like a lifeline, my gaze glued to the window in front of me. It was drizzling outside, a slow dreary drizzle with howling winds.

The couch I was sitting on sunk and I dipped greater into the pillows and blankets surrounding me, swallowing me. Lucas' arms wrapped firmly around my shoulders, gently pulling me into his side and nestling me into his warmth. His lips planted firmly against the crown of my head, his arms flexing even tighter around me. He was a constant strength for me, forever there even if silently. The countless nights and hours that passed by and all I wanted was to bathe in silence, to just be.

"Thank you." I breathed my voice a little coarse and detached. I ran my tongue along my lower lip before bringing the mug to my lips, taking a drink of the tea that slowly slid through me.

"It's not too hot is it?" he murmured softly, no matter how much time had transpired he was still protective, forever at my side earnestly wanting to do anything in his power to help me, to protect me.

I shook my head ducking down to burry and nuzzle my head into his arms; pulling my legs up onto the couch I buried my toes into the blanket and pillows seeking warmth. We lapsed into silence, Luc's hand running up and down my arm absentmindedly his chin resting on the crown of my head.

Since the drama of the attack and kidnapping of a little over two weeks ago this was somewhat of a normality, it seemed as if not much had happened and yet everything had changed. Within those long drawn hollow moments I always ended up back here, curled up into Lucas, his hold tight as if terrified of my possible disappearance, and in silence. I struggled after the first couple days to do much else, the questions had been shot and answered and it gave the chance for the colossal blow of reality to strike me deep, ripping me to shreds.

Alone with my thoughts was a dark and dangerous thing, the terrorizing memories of the kidnapping, all the murder and the attacks which weren't the worse. I preferred that over the terror of being forced to listen to her screams that played over and over again in my mind; awake or asleep.

She was dead. I'd lost my Nan because I'd been idiotic, I'd been a fool thinking I could save her and challenge destiny, fate. But instead I played right into their hands and I was the reason for her death, if I hadn't had that first initial vision and decided to save her any possible way I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be this way.

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