Harry Styles, I'm Not Your Puppet (Harry Styles Fan Fiction) (On Hold for Now)

Ch. 20 "Shatter"

―Aria―

 I look around at the colorful room and for once actually enjoy this trip. I’m sharing a room with my best friend (even if she is mad at me right now, she doesn’t even know why to be mad at me), and 5 hot guys in a world renown band.

Could life really be better?

Dad could be alive…dad could’ve called and told you…dad…

Dad.

Dad could’ve been a dad.

I shake my thoughts away from the dark place of my mind and try at smiling. Someone told me that if you’re sad, smile, and as a result people will smile back at you, thus making you happier. And, if you frown, people won’t.

But I couldn’t smile. My mouth said I was, but my eyes? They must betray all my feelings, if they didn’t I think I would implode.

Obviously, Liam saw it. Liam could see my hurt. Why couldn’t Kim, my best friend, see the pain in my face? Why couldn’t she understand the road I’ve taken, my whole story?

I close my eyes and think of my mom now, I never met her. She died giving birth to me…I killed her.

I killed my mother, and that killed my father.

Against my better judgment, the tear that was residing in my eye, fell. Ever hear how the flutter of a butterfly’s wings makes an avalanche? It was kind of like that. After one tear, they all just started falling. One tear after another after another and I couldn’t make it stop. It kept coming.

All my feelings that were bottled up, were now on the surface for someone to squash. Only…no one was here. No one to love me. Not even Kim now. Liam, he…loves someone else.

I don’t want to tell her. I don’t want to relive my pain. It’s better for me to pretend and be happy, but I can’t be happy, I can’t pretend anymore.

I go into the bathroom and rinse off my face. I look down and there is the aspirin bottle. I take one dry and hope it’ll clear my headache.

Then, I think, what if I take one more? Will my pain go away faster? For the second, I fill a Dixie cup with tap and drink it down. What about one more?

For every bad feeling or thought of my mother or father I take a pill, hoping the aspirin will take the thought away. And soon, I’ve swallowed 15 pills, and I’m tired again. I lay down on the cold tile, not having the strength to go back to my bed.

I feel better. I feel much, much better.

―Louis―

“Zayn?” I ask him as he comes out of the kitchen handing me my lemonade.

“What’s up?” He asks, he takes a sip of his own as he sits on the couch’s armrest, staring at the television on mute.

“Reckon Harry and Kim are friends again?” I nod to the porch, where you can see them leaning on the bar, overlooking the ocean. Are they talking?

“Friends?” He scoffs and I’m confused. Does he not see how they’re being nice to each other? What about their interaction when Harry handed her creamer? They talked. They never talk.

“Yeah. Why? Don’t you see it?”

“Yeah, but I’d say more than friends don’t you think?” Zayn chuckles and sips on his lemonade. 

I smile, because inside I know it’s true. “So…more than friends huh?” I’m proud of Harry, but I’m also scared of Niall, Niall may say that he’s ‘okay’ with us dating Kim, but get real, what brother is okay with his friends dating his sister? None.