Sins, not tragedies. / ROBERT DOWNEY JR

FINAL CHAPTER - Your hearts a mess

The moment of truth was happening right in front of my eyes and there wasn't much I could do.

Robert squeezed my Hand as the car drove off, city lights passing us, our frowns being visable for a short moment.
He noticed that I didn't squeeze his hand back and let go off mine, breathing out quietly.

As we arrived to my house, I felt my heart race down to my legs, making them feel like jelly. It felt like the ground was being torned apart under my feet, my mind completely blank as we entered my room.
Silence, awkward silence.

I sat down on the bed before Robert leaned against the wall.
There wasn't anything I could do and I've felt miserable hurting him like this.
After all we wanted a small family, a small living shitbag that we would raise and love like true parents - but I didn't see that in our future.
Robert was too far away from me.

"I feel the chemicals burning in..", he whispered before plopping down on the bed right next to me, taking my hand for a brief moment again. He let go rather gently, my face frowning as I realised that he was crying - not fully crying but alot of tears streamed down his face.

This was the moment where I realized that it was a serious situation, a serious, heartbreaking situation.
"I know I haven't been the best partner in your life..", he whispered again, my heart stopping for a minute as I realized in what pain he trully was. You could literally grab it out of his voice.

He was in a terrible state and I was tired of trying to help, I was tired of trying.
"I wish I could've helped you - but you slipped through my fingers, Downey", I said, giving his hand a light squeeze before sighing rather quietly and moving away slowly.
It was no use and completely wrong to be loving to him now.
He looked at me, and even though my room was completely dark just with the moon shining through, I saw his glassy eyes. His red, puffy and glassy eyes I'll never forget.

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't do this anymore", I opened my mouth again but was cut off by a harsh sob.
"Why are you leaving me in a situation where I need you the most?! You have MY child in your body! Why are you-" he stopped yelling as a small sob interrupted his words "Rose, please, let me see my child after this whole thing ends",

I wiped away a small tear, my legs feeling like they couldn't carry my weight anymore.
"Robert, it's our Child, not yours. You will see it after it's born..", I turned away from him, my back facing him so he wouldn't see my pain. "But that's it. I don't need a druggie as a father",

A short moment of silence filled the room before I heard the bed squeak, making me know that Robert stood up.
He turned me around by placing his hand behind my head, my brows furrowing at his sudden movement.
"You're making this whole thing painful",
"That's what you did for the last months",
he closed his eyes for a brief moment before pulling me into a hug.
"Don't leave me alone. please don't do this, I have no one",
I bit my lip as I tried to hold back my tears, my body trembling as I felt his pain shooting through my heart.
"You'll find someone better..Please, go",
I crossed my arms, feeling his glare burning on my skin. He opened the door but not before looking at me with a frustrated smile.

"If you decide to come back, i'll be here",

I smiled at him rather awkwardly before breaking into tears as he closed the door shut.
My mind raced to all the things we used to have, my first time, the first kiss we ever had, how he looked at me when we first met after such a long time again.

I plopped down on the bed, pushing my head into the pillow as I sobbed loudly into it. hearing the door open made me flinch and I hoped that it was Robert, but it was my mom who sat down next to me.
"Rose, do I need to understand this?", she said, confusement hearable in her voice. I shook slightly before slapping her hand away from my shoulder.

"Did I tell anyone to understand me?! Leave me alone!", She bit her lip before nodding, my own self feeling like shit.
I've felt like shit for treating everyone like this at the moment, but I couldn't deal with the fact that Robert had gotten worse since the whole thing.
There was nothing I could do than just sit and watch him slip through my fingers like water.

I felt something kick in my stomach, making me cry even more. "I'm sorry I hurt your daddy, small one", I whispered, gently stroking the now visable bump. "I'm sorry my hearts a mess",

I couldn't admit that I didn't love Robert anymore, nor could I accept that it was over like this.

Never in my whole life did I imagine to go through such pain, never in my whole life could I imagine that I would create a family and ruin it again.

Again, there was nothing I could do. I let my tears fall down like a waterfall, slowly feeling the tiredness kicking in.
I dressed into some pyjamas, smelling his scent on my clothes for the last time. Knowing that this scent would fade soon, just like the memories about him, I slipped under the blanket and looked at the ceiling.

My tears ran down my cheeks like they've been planning a race, my skin stinging from all the salty water.
I turned around in my bed, my eyes racing to the photo on my nightstand.

And there was the moment where everything from today kicked in. The moment where I actually felt that I wouldn't talk to Robert ever again, nor see him.
It was the worst part knowing that we were lovers once and now, just in matter of minutes turned into complete strangers.

Still, there was nothing that could change anything about the situation. I've let him slip through my fingers again and there was no chance nor hope that I would ever see him again.
I felt the heaviness kick in, my eyes feeling like two bags of stones. My body relaxed, my mind drifted off to the good times as I opened my mouth again,

"Goodbye, Rob.",

______________________________________
Yup, that was it.
This was the end.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT. There was no chance that they would get back together again.

I just wanted to say a big massive THANK YOU to all the readers for the votes and comments! i've met such amazing persons since this book started and i'm really happy i've met them! Stay fabulous! ♥

(don't worry, we'll see each other again, rosemary and robert ;).)

xxx