Heartless

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Two hours of long walk and she already wanted to vanish. In order to bring everybody back, she had to use a lot of her energy and Regina realized she was too tired to perform any kind of magic when they arrived.

Not that she was going to admit it to anyone, but she wanted nothing more than to jump in a big bed with her comfortable clothes from Storybrooke. Her Evil Queen attire was too uncomfortable and it wasn't made for a long walkings - she missed breathing, her corset was killing her.

The more she thought about Storybrooke, the more she felt the loss of her son.

Every moment they've spent together, every laugh they've shared she had taken it away from him. He didn't even know she existed.

Deep down, the queen knew it had been the right thing to do. There was no way of saving their lives and assuring they wouldn't be affected by Pan's curse without reverting her own and letting Henry go.

It pained her to realize that after everything she worked for, every sacrifice she made had been in vain. All the things she accomplished had been taken away from her, alongside with the promise of being happy by casting a damned curse.

It would be comical if it didn't hurt so much.

However, she could still stretch and force all her mixed feelings into an unemotional mask. Turn her into an indifferent observer.

Regina swallowed against the bile rising in her throat every time she heard the name of her son coming out of some idiot's mouth.

That great choking lump of raw emotion was pummelling her insides, making it hard to keep walking forward. Her eyelids would eventually lowerer to cover her deadened eyes, devoid of any warmth.

Regina had no one else.

She felt hallow, as nothing was important in her life anymore. The queen didn't care about what would happen to her. Actually, she secretly craved for someone to finish her in a brust of rage so she could, finally, rest.

It wouldn't be that hard to find volunteers, she had enemies everywhere in this land.

No overpowering emotion, other than sometimes anger, would creep up inside her. She felt like the part of her able to create any kind of emotion had been taken away in one sudden punch.

Regina felt almost... heartless, like many times before. A maneuver she would frequently use in her past to avoid being killed.

When she halted her walk midway as a hopeful, small and sad smile decorated her lips. An stupid idea flashed in her mind.

Why not, indeed? She had already lost the only love she wanted in life anyway.

The queen decided to embrace her emotions and act exactly as she felt. She let everybody pass her, changed her course to deep into the forest and started to cave a hole in the ground, where she could put her heart and no one would ever know.

If she felt like someone had ripped her heart out, why not make it official? Her grief would certainly decrease considerably.

Pushing the beating organ out of her chest, she felt her pain vanish a little. Not fully, but it was better than nothing. Frowning, she took a moment just to look at it. It was dark, with just some pieces of deep red gravitating the area.

"I don't want you anymore." Regina whispered sadly, looking at the organ on her hands as if it was a person, the numb feeling overpowering her emotions.

It's tragic how emptiness could feel so heavy.

"What the hell are you doing?" Snow yelled, indignantly.

Startled, the queen groaned inwardly and closed her eyes to stop her from snapping. Of course that of all people, Snow White had to be the one to find her in this precise moment.

"Get out of here!" Regina yelled back as stood up, slightly content that she had managed to keep her tone firm and imposing.

"No, we were all worried! You can't just walk away and leave us wondering if you're safe, Regina! Philip and Aurora told us about that witch, are you forgotten?" Snow responded, reprehending the queen for her acts.

"I can perfectly take care of myself! I have magic and I surely don't fear this witch. I can crush her with my bare hands if needed. You from all people should know how my reputation precedes." Regina said, raising her voice in an intimidating tone.

Who that little princess thought she was?

"Why do you always..." Snow tried to argue, but her voice faded when she saw the shining organ on the floor. Taking her time to study it, she frowned in worry.

"Is that a heart?" The princess asked with a shaky voice, but took a few steps closer without hesitation.

Seeing that the queen wouldn't respond, she insisted. "Regina, answer me!"

"Oh, for god's sake! I haven't killed anyone! Now get out of my way before I lose my patience." The queen snapped.

Snow snorted angrily and took a step towards the glowing organ. Regina stood in front the younger woman with a warning look.

"Get. Out. This is none of your business." Her voice was low but no less dangerous.

Snow looked at her former stepmother and gasped in realization. "Is that your heart?" She murmured. "Are you burying your own heart in the woods?" Snow questioned in disbelief.

The princess had a worried expression and watched Regina with such sadness that she suppressed the urge to kill her right in the act.

"I don't need your pity." The queen bitted out, done with the conversation.

"Regina, I know you are hurting now and it's just giving you pain." Snow commented softly, pointing to the heart. "I'm not going to let you do this. Right now it feels bad, but it can make you feel amazing things as well." She added with a small smile.

Regina rolled her eyes with the imminent hope speech.

"Oh really, and what is that? Because I feel much better without it." The queen replied, the corner of her mouth twisting into an emotionless smirk.

Snow's smile vanished as fast as it appeared. "You can't give up on hope that things can get better, Regina. When you do it, is the minute you know your life is never going to change." She said, frowning in worry.

Watching her stepmother chuckling and shaking her head, panic started to make her uneasy. The princess felt a shiver pass through her spine as she contemplated the sight before her. The expression in Regina's face was too similar of the enemy who used to haunt her dreams all those years ago.

"Do you really want to end up like your mother? Like a heartless person?" Snow murmured, knowing she had crossed the line with that last comment. Unfortunately, it was the only way she imagined she could stop Regina from doing such thing.

She saw the anger in the queen's eyes in the moment the words left her mouth, but her plan seemed to work. Within the anger of Regina's eyes, she also saw something similar to fear and sorrow.

Her former stepmother sighed and looked down, moving to take back her heart off the ground. She pulled it back into her chest and closed her eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears from coming out.

Regina had to silence a sob as all the emotions she supressed overwhelmed her, causing her to shake a little.

Doing her best to ignore Snow's frenetical eyes on her, the queen stood up and glanced around, avoiding her stepdaughter's gaze.

As she turned around to leave, an uncommon noise made her look up to the sky and frown as she spotted some strange animal flying directly towards them.

"Am I mad, or it is a flying monkey?" She questioned, lifting eyebrows in puzzlement.

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