34: Jamie

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Chapter 34

  "Do you think I could have a look at the rat?" he said evenly.
  "What?" said Ron. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?"
  "Everything," said Remus. "Could I see him, please?"
        "C'mon Ron, everything will make ten times more sense to you idiots." I said, putting in my two-cents. Remus gave me a sharp look and I ate some popcorn.
  Ron hesitated, then put a hand inside his robes. Scabbers emerged, thrashing desperately; Ron had to seize his long bald tail to stop him escaping. Crookshanks stood up on Black's leg and made a soft hissing noise.
  Remus moved closer to Ron. He seemed to be holding his breath as he gazed intently at Scabbers.
  "What?" Ron said again, holding Scabbers close to him, looking scared. "What's my rat got to do with anything?"
  "That's not a rat," croaked Sirius suddenly.
  "What d'you mean -- of course he's a rat --"
  "No, he's not," said Remus quietly. "He's a wizard."
  "An Animagus," Sirius and I said at the same time, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew."

It took a few seconds for the absurdity of this statement to sink in for them. Then Ron spoke up.
  "You're both mental."
  "Ridiculous!" said Hermione faintly.
  "Peter Pettigrew's dead!" said Harry. "He killed him twelve years ago!" He pointed at Black, whose face twitched convulsively.
  "I meant to," he growled, his yellow teeth bared, "but little Peter got the better of me... not this time, though!"
  And Crookshanks was thrown to the floor as Black lunged at Scabbers; Ron yelled with pain as Black's weight fell on his broken leg.
  ."Sirius, NO!" Remus yelled, launching himself forwards and dragging Black away from Ron again, "WAIT! You can't do it just like that -- they need to understand -- we've got to explain --"
  "We can explain afterwards!" snarled Black, trying to throw Lupin off. One hand was still clawing the air as it tried to reach Scabbers, who was squealing like a piglet, scratching Ron's face and neck as he tried to escape.
  "They've -- got -- a -- right -- to -- know -- -everything!" Remus panted, still trying to restrain Black. "Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don't understand, and Harry -- you owe Harry the truth, Sirius!"
  Sirius stopped struggling, though his hollowed eyes were still fixed on Scabbers, who was clamped tightly under Ron's bitten, scratched, ad bleeding hands.
  "All right, then," Sirius said, without taking his eyes off the rat.
  "Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for..."
  "You're nutters, both of you," said Ron shakily, looking round at us for support. "I've had enough of this. I'm off."
  He tried to heave himself up on his good leg, but Remus raised his wand again, pointing it at Scabbers. I went to stand up and stop him, but remembered what he said about Remus and resorted to glaring and eating more popcorn.
  "You're going to hear me out, Ron," he said quietly. "Just keep a tight hold on Peter while you listen."
  "HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!" Ron yelled, trying to fore the rat back into his front pocket, but Scabbers was fighting to hard; Ron swayed and overbalanced, and Harry caught him am pushed him back down to the bed.
"Thank you Harry. That kid isn't going to give up..." I said, and Harry looked at me weirdly. I shrugged.
Then, ignoring Sirius, Harry turned to Remus.
  "There were witnesses who saw Pettigrew die," he said. "A whole street full of them..."
  "They didn't see what they thought they saw!" said Sirius savagely, still watching Scabbers struggling in Ron's hands.
  "Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter," said Remus, nodding. "I believed it myself -- until I saw the map tonight. Because the Marauder's map never lies... Peter's alive. Ron's holding him, Harry."
  Harry looked down at Ron, and as their eyes met, it looked like they agreed, silently: Sirius and Remus were both out of their minds. I shook my head a chucked.
  Then Hermione spoke, in a trembling, would-be calm sort of voice, as though trying to will my godfather to talk sensibly.
  "But Professor Lupin... Scabbers can't be Pettigrew... it just can't be true, you know it can't..."
  "Why can't it be true?" Remus said calmly, as though they were in class, and Hermione had simply spotted a problem in an experiment with grindylows. I shook my head again, laughing a bit. Sirius raised an eyebrow again at me.
  "Because... because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus. We did Animagi in class with Professor McGonagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework -- the Ministry of Magic keeps tabs on witches and wizards who can become animals; there's a register showing what animal they become, and their markings and things... and I went and looked Professor McGonagall up on the register, and there have been only seven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on the list."
  I barely had time to marvel inwardly at the effort Hermione put into her homework, when Remus started to laugh.
  "Right again, Hermione!" he said. "But the Ministry never knew that here used to be four unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts."
  "I you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus," said Black, who was still watching Scabbers's every desperate move. "I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer."
  "All right... but you'll need to help me, Sirius," said Remus, "I only know how it began..."
  Remus broke off. There had been a loud creak behind him. The bedroom door had opened of its own accord. All five of them stared at it. Then Lupin strode toward it and looked out into the landing.
  "No one there..." SEVERUS FINALLY CAME. HE BETTER NOT KILL ANYONE. NO. NO HE WON'T.
  "This place is haunted!" said Ron. I rolled my eyes.
  "It's not," said Remus, still looking at the door in a puzzled way. "The Shrieking Shack was never haunted.... The screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by me."
  He pushed his graying hair out of his eyes, thought for a moment then said, "That's where all of this starts -- with my becoming a werewolf, None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitter... and if I hadn't been so foolhardy..."
  He looked sober and tired. Ron started to interrupt, but Hermione, said, "Shh!" She was watching Remus very intently.
  "I as a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week, preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform.... I'm able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again.
  "Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me.
  "But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school...." Remus sighed, and looked directly at Harry. "I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I came to Hogwarts. This house" -- Remus looked miserably around the room, -- "the tunnel that leads to it -- they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous."
  Harry obviously couldn't see where this story was going, but he was listening raptly all the same. The only sound apart from Remus' voice was Scabbers's frightened squeaking.
  "My transformations in those days were -- were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor.... Even now, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don't dare approach it...."
  "But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends and surprisingly a girlfriend that would do anything for me. Sirius Black... Peter Pettigrew... and, of course, your father, Harry -- James Potter. Then, there was, ah, Raelyn Potter. I might tell you about her another time though." Harry's face was priceless. Wait, Raelyn Potter? Who that hell was that?
  "Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her... I was terrified they would desert me the moment they found out what I was. Raelyn had come in fifth year, and she figured it out quickly, which had been the start of our relationship. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, worked out the truth...."
  "And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi."
  "My dad too? And your girlfriend?" said Harry, astounded.
  "Yes, indeed," said Remus. "It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and Raelyn just happened to be absolutely amazing in potions. Lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong -- one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius and Raelyn. Finally, by the end of our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will."
  "But how did that help you?" said Hermione, sounding puzzled.
  "They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals," said Remus, a tear threatening to leave his eye. "A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. They transformed... Peter, as the smallest, could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them."
  "Hurry up, Remus," snarled Black, who was still watching Scabbers with a horrible sort of hunger on his face.
  "I'm getting there, Sirius, I'm getting there... well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform. Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. And Raelyn had always seemed to keep me calm. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did.... And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs. And Raelyn was added on as Luna, though her name wasn't on the front."
  "What sort of animal --?" Harry began, but Hermione cut him off.
  "That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"
  "A thought that still haunts me," said Remus heavily. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless -- carried away with our own cleverness.
  "I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course... he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led four fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven't changed..."
  Remus' face had hardened, something he did when he concealed emotions, and there was self-disgust in his voice. "All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn't do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me... and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it... so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along."
  "Snape?" said Black harshly, taking his eyes off Scabbers; for the first time in minutes and looking up at Lupin. "What's Snape got to do with it?"
         "What did Severus do?" I growled.
  "He's here, Sirius," said Lupin heavily, and gave me a sharp look. "He's teaching here as well. And nothing necessarily, Jamie. No need for a killing spree." He looked up at Harry, Anna, Ron, and Hermione.
  "Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons... you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me --"
  Sirius made a derisive noise.
  "It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to... hoping he could get us expelled...."
  "Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Remus told the others. "We were in the same year, you know, and we -- er -- didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field... anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be -- er -- amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it -- if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf -- but your father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life... Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was...."
  "So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Harry slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"
  "That's right," sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Lupin.
  Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing, directly at Lupin. Oh sugary shit.

A/N

IM UPDATING AGAIN TOMORROW EVEN THOUGH I HAVE DAMMES BAND CAMP FROM 8-2. ITS ALMOST ELEVEN HERE IN NY. I AM SO FREAKING HOT IN MY ROOM, AND MY MOM WONT GET A STUPID AC. ERRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG

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