Letters to Phil. (Phan)

Letter Eleven.

Trigger Warning.

March 10, 2015

Dear Phil,

Hi, Phil. I really hope that you're doing good. Fans have been asking me how you are and stuff and when we're going to do another video together. I'm really surprised that they haven't found out yet, honestly.

I haven't heard from you in six days now, but Louise tells me that you've been a wreck. She said that you have her over to see how I'm doing a lot. I've been told that you have got my letters in the past as well. I'm glad, I didn't think they were actually sending. At least you're reading them, or at least I hope you are.

How's Lexi? I really hope she's good. I feel almost really bad because I've never actually gotten to know her and she seems so sweet. I mean, she makes you happy from what I've seen, and that's something I can't do anymore, I guess, so I'm glad she can. One day, I really hope that I can actually get to know her.

Pj is over again. He's over a lot lately. Ever since that day, he's been staying around constantly and keeping me company. I'm grateful, but I also know that it's a little bit out of the fact that he doesn't want me to do something stupid. Which, I will admit, has happened a few times. He's caught me every time, also. Him or Chris has. Which then entails them to call Louise and it's just a really big mess after it happens because I'm crying and they're trying to comfort me and it's just a hassle.

Like that most recent one that Chris caught was about three days ago and I was trying to find something to cut my arms with. I had it against my wrist, about to cut for the fourth time, when he walked into your old room and found me. I turned your room into a computer room for editing my videos and stuff when I actually make some. Peej and Louise helped me because they said it would be good for me to do something with it rather than keep it empty.

I have some scabbed up lines on my arm, which are going to leave scars.

Anyway, I kind of feel like doing a video right now, so I'm going to make one before it goes away. Bye, Philly.

Love,

Dan.