The Girl Who Found The Darkness

Chapter Thirty-Two

  I've been here for about a month now, and things are going pretty well. I never leave Laura's side(except for my one-on-one with Katelyn) and we talk to Ben every night. I never take off the triforce necklace. At first the staff were suspicious as to how I got it, but I said my boyfriend gave it to me and it has great sentimental value. Then they just let it slide.

The media has officially named me JJ The Smiler, or JJ for short. I have no idea where they got the JJ, though. I don't really care anyways. The media has always been weird.

They've concluded I killed at least 50 people, not including David, Jason (which technically wasn't me), and Brandon the cashier. I'd say that's a pretty good amount for only like a month and a half period. People are calling me one of the greatest murderers of all time, and I'm quite flattered by that. In fact, a movie crew is trying to get an interview with me to make a documentary about my life. Isn't that exciting? It's not the kind of movie I dreamed of being in as a kid, but oh well. I'll make it work.

The worst part of all of this is I have really bad nightmares. Sometimes, David comes back and kills Laura and my family. Other times, I see Cloe in the distance, and I try to run to her, but I'm moving in slow motion and I can never reach her. Another common one is I'm walking by the river where Marisa died, and she comes out of the water and drags me down into the icy depths and I drown.

But the worst nightmare of all is when my mom and dad come to me and tell me I'm a disgrace. Then they hand me a gun and I shoot myself. With me gone, there's no one to free Ben's spirit, and he wanders the Earth for eternity.

And that's why I'm determined to get out of here. I can't die in here. If I die, no one will be able to help Ben. And I'd rather go to Hell than be without Ben in my life. It's pretty nice here, but eventually I must escape. I'll take Laura with me, of course. She doesn't even deserve to be here in the first place. I'll take Laura and Ben and we'll free Ben, and then I can be with him forever.

But until then, I have to deal with the nightmares. Most nights, I wake up screaming and crying. Ben comforts me then. I'm so lucky to have him in my life. I don't know what I'd do without him. Actually, I do know what I'd do.

I would kill myself.

So yeah. This is my life for now. If you can even call this a life.

I will probably have to kill some people to get out of here, including Katelyn. I mean, she's pretty nice, and I like her a lot, but I don't think she would approve of us sneaking out. I might take someother patients with me, though. Like Lizzie, this one girl in my support group. I might also take Edgar, this guy who acts just like my best guy friend from school. He's really cool and nice, and can make anyone laugh. I could also take Justin, who is Edgar's dorm mate, and he's really clever and weird. I'm pretty sure Laura has a crush on him, too.

But no matter what, I won't give up. Some days, I feel really depressed. I want to start self harming again, or sometimes even kill myself. But then I think of what Kevin told me on my first day here. That he will always love me. And that's what keeps me going. The thought that somewhere in this messed up crazy world, someone loves me. And I love them too.

~END~

A/N: ERMAHGERD!!!!!! It's finally done! Now PLS READ THE UPDATE AFTER THIS ONE THAT WILL COME LATER TODAY!!!! It's about the sequel and prequel, and you have to read it if you want either of those to happen. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, cuz I enjoyed writing it. Well, most of the time. Also shoutout to my friend Marisa, because without her I would have never finished this story! :D <3 Julie