Through It All

SEVENTEEN

Adam rest his pounding head on the counter. The tavern smells of urine and cigars but he doesn't dare to move. He knows he needs to get back home to his lovely wife. His wife, he lifts his head as much as he can and stares down at his now empty mug. Sophia Marie Willis now Lancaster. He smiles to himself as he sees her smile, her long luscious hair, and her sensual body. He shakes his head trying to get the image out of his head, which was the sole reason he is in this dump in the first place.

Early in the morning, the sun had yet to rise, Adam woke up with so much thirst that he could not ignore it. He sat up, got some water from the pitcher from the bed side table, and he laid back down not wanting to wake Sophia up. He faced her, watching her back, watching her breathe so peacefully. One strap of her sleeping gown was down exposing a very sensual shoulder. Her gown was pulled up showcasing her voluptuous legs, and it embraced her body so beautifully, Adam was convinced she was the sexiest woman alive. He wanted to touch her, he wanted to pull her tightly against him and run his hands down every inch of her body. He then realized that he had to get away. Waiting was becoming more difficult each day, and he felt like he was going to lose control. His skin yearned for her, it burned every time he kissed her. Every day, he had to fight that urge to feel her, to make her his.

Sitting at the bar was the only way to fight his instincts. He figures he will arrive home once Sophia was asleep, it will be dark and he will fall asleep without turning to her beautiful body. It is the only solution Adam could find if he was to give Sophia more time. He doesn't know how much more he had to wait and he isn't quite sure how or when he would know that she was ready, that she no longer felt anything for Daniel. If only she could say the small three words, if she could utter "I love you" from her sweet lips, it would suffice. But could he expect that from Sophia? He knows her well enough to know that she likes to keep to herself. So what then? How much longer is he going to have to hold back? When she stops trembling every time his hands betrayed him? What if she never stops?

"Adam?"

Adam turns and finds his father in a too elegant suit for a tavern, watching him.

"What are you doing here?" Adam asks before his father could.

"A few friends and I are meeting at Mona's. What about you? You don't drink."

Adam shrugs. His father is going to Mona's? A brothel? He wonders for how long his father has frequented this place.

"Do you regret marrying Miss Sophia?"

Adam shakes his head. "No, not at all."

"Is she not as great as I thought she was? Did we condemn you to be unhappy for the rest of your life?"

"No. Sophia is great. She's fantastic."

"Why are you not with her then?"

Adam shrugs. He could ask him the same thing. "It's complicated."

"Complicated? What do you mean complicated?" his father asks puzzled.

Adam shrugs again. How can he tell his own father about his desperate urge to make Sophia his? That he fears that if he sees her now, that he will do the unthinkable?

"You should be with your wife, making me a grandfather."

Adam feels a painful spasm at his father's comment. "Right."

Mr. Lancaster Sr. looks at his son worriedly. "Is something the matter?"

"Have you ever felt like..." he starts but pauses. How can he explain? "Like your animal instincts are about to explode from inside you, and you fear that you might hurt someone?"

"What do you mean? Your animal instincts?"

"No, it's just a question."

"You want to hurt your wife?"

"No, no. It's just that..." He stops, looks at his father, then realizes that his animal instincts are already on the surface. "I better go." He stands, places a coin on the table and starts walking away.

"Adam." His father holds his arm firmly. "Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing. It's just getting late. I better get back before Sophia gets worried." He leaves his father and walks into the chilly night. He is just going to have to fight his urge. There is not any other way.