Through It All

THIRTY THREE

Adam paces back and forth right outside the bedroom door. His hands sweating with nerves. Gilda sits quietly on a chair with her eyes closed mumbling prayers under her breath. Lily stands tacitly holding on her shawl tears going down her face. Dr. Harris appears from the door, face grim.

Adam waits for him to speak, he keeps telling himself to be strong no matter the outcome.

"I'm sorry," he lastly says laying a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder.

Adam's world comes crashing down. All his dreams at a standstill.

"He fought till the end," the Doctor says.

Adam's eyes start to water. "How's my wife?"

"I gave her some morphine to calm her nerves," Dr. Harris says. "Do call me if you need anything." Adam nods. Dr. Harris walks out the house quietly feeling like he could have done more.

Adam opens the door quietly and finds Sophia lying on her side, her back turned to him. She must be sleeping, he tells himself as he lays behind her bringing his arms around her back, pulling her small body against his. He feels her holding on his hand strongly telling him she was very well awake, and hurting.

"I'm sorry," he hears her tiny voice. "I am so sorry."

Adam shakes his head painfully. "You never have to apologize to me."

"I need you to forgive me for not being able to take care of our baby," she replies lowly.

"Sophia it is not your fault."

"But it is!" she exclaims letting go of him and sitting up rapidly. "We're being punished for what I have done, can't you see that?"

"Punished?" Adam replies feeling a knot in his throat.

"God is punishing me for everything! For my past with Daniel, for failing to save my sister, everything is my doing! And God has taken away my joy, because I don't deserve to be a mother, I don't!" she finishes with a deep sob.

Adam can't take this anymore. "Listen to me," he says rapidly holding Sophia by the arms. "This is not a punishment, it's a test. He is testing us. It's a trial, and I assure you we are going surpass it. We will cry our loss, but we will not give up. I know it doesn't seem like it, but we will get through this, I will get you through it, because we have to prove Him that we are ready for a family and something greater will come our way, I know it."

Sophia looks up at him and snivels, "I don't think I'm strong enough."

"But you are!" he assures her. "You are the strongest woman I know, and if you feel like your strength is failing, I am here to be strong for the both of us." he pulls a strand of hair behind her ear gently. "I will hold you up."

Sophia nods slowly, tears flowing down her face. "It hurts so much," she whimpers.

Adam holds her as she weeps into his chest. "I know," he says lowly. "It hurts me too."

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"Yes?" Adam answers the door early in the morning hesitant to leave his wife by herself. "May I help you?" he asks in disgust as Mayor Smith stands in the doorway, his pretentious smile so big as if what his own son did never happened.

"I believe we should talk," he replies smugly, Adam wants to punch that smile off his face.

"No thank you," Adam says shortly and tries shutting the door.