Dinner was a predictably raucous affair. Celebrating the end of their first UK tour and the prospect of returning home to their families and to prepare for their live punishment, which was due to air in six weeks. I sat back and watched this crazy group of guys laughing and joking with my best friend, wondering how the hell I ended up here. It was definitely not how I expected my summer holiday to end up. I sipped my drink as I thought about the last week. I looked at Brian, who caught my eye and smiled at me. As I smiled back I realised we only had a few hours left. And we hadn't even started to discuss what was going to happen.
I grabbed Brian as we left the restaurant. "We need to sort some shit out, don't we?" I asked. He nodded and led me over to the bar in the lobby.
"Let's sort it now, because it's not gonna get done when we go upstairs." He winked and laughed. We spent the next hour coordinating schedules. Being a teacher, I was luckily enough to get blocks of time off.
"Ok, so there's like 6 weeks before I can have any time off. So, I was thinking...why don't I come to New York for your live punishment thingy?"
"That would be perfect actually. We're going to be so busy with training for this thing as soon as we get back."
"It should fly by then," I smiled, mentally writing a note to look for flights as soon as possible.
"When do you have off after that?" Brian asked.
I grimaced. "Nothing until 3 weeks at Christmas."
"Well how about I come here over Thanksgiving? We agreed to have a break anyway, because it's Joe's first Thanksgiving with his baby girl."
"That would work." I replied, glad we had a few plans at least. I yawned, suddenly tired. "We can work the rest out later. Come on, bed." I stood up and pulled Brian out of his seat, he put his arm around me and led me to our room.
We were both quiet when we woke. Neither of us looking forward to that moment in a few short hours when we said goodbye. We ordered room service for breakfast instead of joining the others, and we chatted idly until Murr knocked on the door telling us it was time.
I took a deep breath and followed Brian out of the hotel. The others were already waiting by the car, and they gave me a small smile. Brian was holding my hand tightly, I knew he was starting to stress about leaving. I whispered into his ear, distracting him.
We all stayed together until the last possible minute. I sat with my head on Brian's shoulder trying to keep it together. The more I thought about the fact he was leaving, the harder it was not break down. I didn't realise I was silently crying until a tear fell on Brian's hoodie. He pulled my head up to his and kissed me passionately. We broke apart breathless and he sat up, turning to face me.
"Six weeks isn't that long you know. Not with the new school year and our training, it will fly by. You'll be on your way to New York before you know it." He gave me a small smile as he tried to reassure me and wiped away my tears. "Shae, don't cry. If you cry, then I'll cry. And I can't cry. Do you realise how stupid it would look to see a beardy homeless looking guy crying? You wouldn't want me to look stupid would you?" He tucked his finger under my chin and raised my head to look at him.
"You're a dick," I said, laughing.
"Promise me, no more tears." I promised, kissing him lightly.
I looked up, seeing everyone approach and slowly stood.
"That's the last call for our flight." Joe said quietly.
I gave Joe and Murr one last hug and said I would see them soon. I grabbed Sal and gave him a squeeze. "Keep an eye on him for me, will you? Call me if you need to." He nodded and promised he would. I walked with Brian as far as we were able. He rested his head against mine, murmuring to me. "I'll call you as soon as I get back, and then we can set up Skype and stuff from there. You can ring me any time and if you can't get through try one of the others, I'll always be with one of them."
"I'll email you my flight details once it's sorted." I said. "Text me when you land?" He kissed me again.
"Of course." He promised. I gave him one last hug and waved to the others as they went through security.
I just about managed to hold back the tears as I watched him walk away. He turned back just as he was about to go through and gave me a small wave. He looked as pained as I felt.
I turned and walked straight into Oli's arms, the tears silently streaming down my face. We stood there, Oli holding me until my tears stopped and my breathing slowed. She pulled me into the toilets and I washed my face, which was completely red and blotchy from the tears.
"You never said... I didn't realise you cared so much." She said quietly, as I dried my face. I stopped and looked up at her. "Neither did I."
Neither of us spoke much on the journey back. The second I was home, I went straight to bed. I didn't want to talk to anybody, I just wanted to wallow in the sadness that I had tried so hard to hide.
