Chapter Thirty Eight

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"I'm pregnant." I saw his head spin round out of the corner of my eye. I didn't dare turn to look at him.

"You're..."

"Pregnant, yep." I braced myself and looked up at him.

"How? When? How?" Brian stuttered.

I chuckled humourlessly. "Well, you know about the birds and the bees, right?"

"Shae, really not the time for joking." Brian said sternly.

My head shot up. I was suddenly angry. "Do you not think I know that Brian? I'm just trying to lighten this completely fucked up situation right now. Do you have any idea how much I have been freaking out since I found out?!"

Brian stood, staring out along the street. "When did you find out?"

"I hadn't clicked that I was late until this morning, when I was packing all my shit in the bathroom. I guess I was too caught up in work and everything to realise. I did a test at the airport and another one before we came out here." I was rambling, so I quickly shut up.

Brian just stood there, not saying a word. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. Five minutes passed, ten minutes. "Say something, Brian. Please."

He turned to face me. "I...I need to think." At that, he walked straight past me and back into the house. I didn't watch him go. I stood and started walking away from the house and down the street, my mind blank, the tears running down my face.

I heard my name being called but I didn't react to it.

"Shae, there you are." Sal panted as he found me. "I've been looking...fuck. Shae, what's wrong?" He pulled me to a stop and wrapped his arms around me. "Shae, come on. Talk to me, what's the matter?" I just shook my head. "Don't give me that shit, I thought there was something earlier but you told Joe there wasn't so I let it go. But then Q comes back to the house without you and locks himself in the bathroom. Oli starts pounding on the bathroom door shouting at him to come out, then she orders me to go and find you. What's going on?"

I wiped my face. "Sal, I can't. Please, just... I just need to talk to Brian." I sighed and turned back towards the house.

He nodded. "Ok, well let's get you back. I can't believe he let you wander off on your own. Have you had an argument or something?" I looked at him. "Ok, I'm leaving it." He put his arm around my waist as we walked back in silence. Joe was coming from the kitchen as we came through the front door.

"You ok Shae?" I nodded numbly. Joe looked behind me. "Where's Q?"
I frowned at him. "What do you mean?"
Joe waved a a pizza laden hand towards the door. "He marched out the door like 10 minutes ago. I guessed to find you. He had his car keys."
I looked at Sal, panicked. He ran upstairs to find Oli. I heard mumbling and Sal's raised voice. A few seconds later, they both ran down the stairs.
"Joe, did Q say where he was going?" Joe shook his head.
"What's going on?" He asked, bewildered.
You're best friend is a dick, that's what's going on." Oli spat.
Sal placed his hand on Oli's shoulder, trying to calm her down.
"I have no idea but he's done a runner for some reason..." Sal sighed.

Hearing Sal's words, I couldn't catch myself breath. I grabbed onto Oli for support and she led me to the sofa. "Sit down. Just breathe. It'll be ok." She muttered to me before shooing Murray out of the room. "I'll be back." She gave me a quick hug before leaving the room.

Suddenly alone, I broke down silently. The realisation of what had happened was sinking in. I told Brian that I was pregnant and he left. Physically up and left his own house without telling anybody where he was going. He'd made his feelings perfectly clear. This wasn't something he wanted.

I curled up on the sofa, my head resting on my arm. I didn't sleep, but I completely zoned out. At some point I ended up with a blanket covering me and Oli at my side.
"Is he back?" I asked, focusing my eyes. Oli shook her head sadly.
"Sal can't get hold of him. He told Joey and Murr to go home." I nodded, not really taking any information in. "Shae, should we tell Sal? I mean, he has no idea what's going on... Maybe it will help?"
I shrugged. I didn't even care at this point.

"Salvatore..." Oli called. Suddenly I felt awful. Here they were trying to sort my shit out, when they had their own stuff going on. I promised myself I would make it up to them somehow.

"I know why Brian left." I started quietly. I pulled at the corner of the blanket that was still covering me. "I'm pregnant..."
The look on Sal's face when from joy to excitement to worry. "That explains it then." He said, moving across to sit beside me. Sal took my hand and squeezed it. "He's just freaking out right now. Don't worry. He'll be back. Once he's got his head round it. It's a big thing. You know he always said he didn't want kids..."
"I didn't exactly plan this Sal." I snapped.
"Hey. I didn't say you did. But I know how he feels about you. I'm sure it will be fine."

I didn't believe Sal for a second. I distractedly stroked Brooklyn, who had curled up in my lap. We sat for what seemed like hours in silence, just waiting for Brian to return.

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