6463 l.h

t w e n t y - t w o

"Wow, are you okay?" he says pulling away from my kiss

"Yeah, I just feel bad for her" I run my hand over my face

"So Ashton is asking us to come over to his place later, it's not a party because no one is in the mood for getting shit faced but he just wants to gather us all and hang out" he places his hand on my lower back keeping me close to him

"Sure" I show him a fake smile, I must break things off tonight. The sooner I get this done the sooner it will heal

"I'll pick you up by 8, a'right?"

"No need, I gotta run some errands until then so I'll drive myself" I smile again and peck his lips "Gotta go now, you should stay and hang with Ashley, she could use some support right now" I cough pretending I just didn't stabbed myself on the heart

I leave before he could protest and call myself a cab and drop home. My head is heavy thinking how am I gonna do this. I take a deep breath and think what would I do before I moved here.

I'd pretend things are okay just to hurt him more. I'd be nice and warm until he says something lovely first so I can rip his insides out. I'd look into his eyes with flames of indifference in mine, saying things like "You're a stupid little twat that for one moment believed I could love someone like you" I'd have done it, just like this way. This coldhearted way. Because it's better to hurt the other than yourself.

But now it's different. Cause I do love him but gotta pretend I don't and end up hurting both of us. I spend the whole day ignoring my phone buzzing and just focus on Zoe. We play in her room with her new doll house, I made us cupcakes and we watched Tangled for the one hundredth time this month.

"Why isn't Luke here anymore?" she asks bitting her cookie

"I told you that Luke and I are over" I stroke her hair

"But I saw him creeping out of your room the other night" she blushes. "I thought you two made up"

"We didn't" I look down feeling my heart shrink in my chest "He just dropped by to give some of my things back" I lied

"He looked happy" she comments

"He was trying to ease his pain"

"Why do you look hurt now?" she stares into my eyes so I look away. Yes, my five year old sister is intimidating me

"How about we bake a cake to Daddy?" I stand up and pick her up, damn this child is getting heavier

"Answer my question, Liza" she whines, poking my cheek

"I'm not hurt, my love" I smile "It's just my resting face"

"It is not" she rolled her eyes as I sit her on the counter "Your resting face is annoyed, not hurt"

"Zozo, just drop it okay" I try to smile again but this kid knows me far too well

"No!" She pouts "You love him and is making the two of you hurt because you can't admit it!" she yells, hitting her little palm against the counter

"Baby you can't understand these things okay, so just forget about it" I try unsuccessfully to make her drop it but she is as stubborn as me

"Why do you hurt people? Mostly the ones who love you?" she jumps off of the counter and rushes upstairs with tears in her eyes

Fuck. I sigh and run a hand over my hair. I can't let go of Luke, I just can't.

Zoe is 5 but she knows far better than me. I know she's right. I swallow the lump in my throat and rest both of my hands on the counter dropping my head back trying to think. I can't let Ashley have him, I feel horrible for being this selfish but I love him, for the first time in my whole life I truly love someone, he makes me feel good and he's so good to me.

He might not be the best but that's what he brings up in me. I just can't let him go because he's my shooting star. This only happens once in a lifetime.

Before I could realize I was crying and sobbing.

I'm very sorry about Ashley but I won't give up on Luke, not anytime soon. I hope she understands, I hope she turns out okay and don't make a huge drama because I didn't give up on Luke. I get my phone and text Luke.

Me at 6:59pm

I love you

Luke <3 <3 at 7:01pm

Why is this for? Am I in trouble? I love you too babe

Me at 7:02pm

Nothing. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you

Luke <3 <3 at 7:03pm

Just so you know, I love you more.

I bite my lower lip knowing this is the right thing to do. I won't give up on my happiness, I couldn't feel more sorry for Ashley but I can't let her take him away.

xxx

Sorry for the shitty chapter....

Anyways, I wanted to promote my friend's story bc she's bae and i love her

So this is Livia (pineapplesandbooks) and this is her book, https://www.wattpad.com/story/47302937-not-that-punk-rock·5sos , so check it out!

Thanks babes, see y'all next chapter (probably on friday)