Give Me Some Of That Bass // phan

Do It Now Remember It Later

"Oh my, don't they hate to see us try
Come on say what you think
It won't mean a thing
In the end we're gonna be just fine"

***

Wednesday arrived much more quickly than Phil was prepared for, and he found that he was (not for the first time in the last two days) having second thoughts. He'd been up all night, going through every possible scenario in his mind about things that could go wrong, each one so much worse than the last. He wasn't surprised when he looked in the mirror that morning and saw he looked paler than usual from lack of sleep.

But the nervous twist in his stomach and the fact that he was physically exhausted didn't deter the millions of excited nerves running through him. Tonight, they were playing the Blue Room.

They had a messy plan put together, that consisted of climbing out of windows or pretending they were at each other's houses, guesstimating when Chris's parents would be asleep, or at least far gone enough so that they wouldn't hear the four of them leaving. Chris had just gotten his car keys back, but he was willing to possibly get them taken away again just for this. He was definitely the most ambitious person Phil had ever met.

They'd played other gigs before, at parties and dive bars on the shady part of town. Last year, they had even been allowed to do a few songs for a dance at school, but had almost immediately been kicked offstage once Chris started yelling profanities at the crowd. But this was so different in so many ways, and Phil honestly still couldn't wrap his mind around the idea.

Of course, in the back of his mind, just behind all of that excitement and anxiousness, was confusion and worry about Dan.

The last Phil had seen of him was Sunday, after their semi-argument about hiding the fact that they were dating. He hadn't come to school on Monday, and Phil had caught only a glimpse of him once in the hallways yesterday before he had to go to class.

Were they taking a break? Phil was still so consumed with guilt at what had happened, and he couldn't even begin to think of a way to try and fix it. Apologizing just didn't seem good enough, not for this situation. But what else was he supposed to do; he had grown so used to having Dan whenever he wanted over the last year, and now that he was being deprived, he was starting to realize that he'd taken way too much advantage of him. Dan was there every single time, when Phil was sad or angry at his band mates or just horny, and Phil didn't feel like he gave enough in return. And forcing Dan to hide away from Phil's friends and family was just the final blow, it seemed, because Dan wouldn't even answer his texts. All because he was scared of people's reactions.

So all in all, Phil was just a mess of emotions that he didn't know how to handle all together at once.

His parents had already agreed to letting him stay over at Chris's house for the rest of the week, with him claiming it was for 'band emergency purposes'. They had never liked getting involved with anything that had to do with his music, so he was pretty much all ready to go, after swearing on his life they weren't going to any outrageous parties. He wondered when it had become so easy to lie to his parents.

"And you're sure you have everything?" Chris asked from the passenger seat of the car, typing God knows what into his phone. Phil refrained from growling in frustration; this was at least the seventh time he'd been asked that since they'd left.

"I'm one hundred percent sure that I have everything I need, could you please stop fussing so much. You sound like my mum."