Give Me Some Of That Bass // phan

Aftermath

"I'm ready to breath again,
I'm beginning to catch my breath
I'm ready to dream again,
Surviving what left me for dead"

***

Elliot was leaving in two weeks; the day after FTC, which he kept trying to say was a good thing, but they all knew it didn't matter. They'd rather not do the competition at all and have him stay than anything.

And Audrey wasn't taking the news too well, either, if not worse. Phil was starting to realize that their relationship was a lot more serious than he'd been thinking, and this whole moving business wasn't easy on the both of them. They spent a lot of time together, trying to make the best of it he assumed, and Phil was there when it became too much for Grayson to handle. Him and Elliot had worked things out, somewhat, but it was still hard to just get over completely.

"What do you think it'll be like without him?" Gray asked softly, staring up at the ceiling of his room glumly and clutching his the front of his shirt tightly. Phil watched him, looking for any telltale signs of a breakdown, because he'd been doing that a lot lately; breaking down. Maybe it was healthy, letting him get it all out without any violence or malice, but it was horrible to watch.

"You shouldn't think about that."

"Yeah, let me just forget about it, right?" He smirked. "My best friend, possibly the only person who gets me, and he's leaving and I won't ever get to see him face-to-face or call him at three in the morning because I can't sleep or talk to him about the stupid fucking stars like we used to. I'll just forget all that, okay?"

He knew that trying to reassure him wouldn't work, he'd just angry and tell Phil to leave, so he just sat and stared at his shoes, useless as he was.

Gray wasn't the only one that would miss Elliot, but Phil knew it would probably affect him the most.

"I mean," Grayson said in a shaky voice. "At least he knows how I feel about him. Even if it didn't go the way I planned, at least he knows. If he had left and I'd never said anything...god, I would have gone insane."

Phil moved from where he was sitting at his desk towards his bed, laying out beside Grayson and looking up as well. "He's not the only guy out there, you know," he said in the least accusing tone possible, hoping he was coming across as reassuring and not asshole-ish. "It won't be good at first, sure, but...it'll get easier. And maybe you'll find someone else."

Grayson tried to laugh, but it died in his throat and all that came out was a strangled gasp. "Yeah, I'm sure, but he's here right now, so what else am I supposed to do?"

And yeah, there was no good answer to that, so Phil just kept his mouth shut and let him wallow in peace.

"God, just forget about my stupid problems for now," Grayson said, turning onto his side and giving him a curious look. Phil turned to face him. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Phil asked mechanically, shifting uncomfortably at the sudden subject change. He wasn't used to people asking about him, his life; it was unsettling.

"You and Dan." Gray shoved his shoulder lightly. "Are you even gonna try and talk to him? Someone in this fucked up equation needs to be happy, and we're all rooting for you."

Phil shook his head. "I don't think it's such a good idea."

"And why's that?"

"Look, I miss him. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him, and what we had," Phil said. "And sure, maybe I've resolved some of the problems we had, but...I'm still terrified that I'm not good enough. He can do so much better, and we both know it."